What is tantric massage?

What is tantric massage is part of a series of 4 articles on tantra massage:

  1. Tantric massage: a detailed explanation of tantric massage (this article).
  2. The basics of tantric massage: an explanation of the more practical aspects.
  3. 10 important tantra massage tips: 10 important massage insights/rules to know.
  4. Tantra massage techniques : an explanation of tantra massage techniques.

A loving touch full of attention and presence

A tantric massage is a loving touch full of attention and presence, without a standard form and predetermined result. Tantra massage is given from the heart. In a tantric massage, the whole body participates and erogenous zones can also be touched. Of course, always with respect for (mutual) boundaries. Tantra massage is an energetic massage in which sexual energy also gets attention. A tantra massage takes place on the basis of equality and establishes an intimate connection between massage giver and receiver. Mentally, physically, at heart level and sometimes even at the depths of heart and soul. The purpose of a tantric massage is to “bring” the receiver in (the direction of) a natural, ecstatic state of being. The effect is often a wonderful physical, mental well-being. Usually, the receiver is very relaxed, wonderfully flowing and ending up well in the heart, and in higher spheres.

Tantra massage: be loving

Looking lovingly, touching lovingly, acting lovingly

Loving touch

A tantric massage is a loving touch full of attention and presence. Tantra massage is given from the heart. Although most touch will take place through the hands (or body to body) it actually is love that touches. The hands of the giver are connected with his/her heart. The touch is loving, always focused on the well-being of the receiver. The recipient is also present, and receives active and also feels (ultimately) from the heart. Be loving!

Full of attention and presence

A tantra massage is a loving touch full of attention and presence. Both the giver and the receiver are completely present. Do not think about yesterday or tomorrow. Don’t look around or being busy with something else. No, your full attention is on giving or receiving the massage. A very conscious touch from the heart. Receive also very consciously, feeling it in your heart. Tantra massage is not about routine, fixed patterns are actually out of the question. Everything happens ín the moment, in full consciousness, lovingly attuned to each other and the situation. Dreaming away or falling asleep is also not intended (still, if that’s what you need, it’s ok).

Tantra massage: 5 % technique, 95% intuition

Without standard form or predetermined result

A tantric massage will always be different. You never know how it will turn out. It is not the technique or the desired sequence of massaging that is important, it’s about what is appropriate/necessary. What/where does the recipient most need at the moment? What is good for her/him? Love knows what to do, love always has an appropriate response. And so the massage will be exactly that what is needed. Sufficient is that the giver is present and keeps tuning in to his/her heart, to the frequencies of love. The divine also has its own plan, you can’t “do” it.

Tantric massages therefore often take a very surprising course. Everything fits into a larger whole. For example, a tantric massage does not always have to be “fine”, ending in bliss. A “failed” massage can be the first step in a great development.

Always with respect to limits

We knew it for a long time, of course, but since the #MeToo revelations, some things have come up in the world of tantra massage. Masseurs (you do not hear that much about masseuses) who force their own sexual pleasure/lust on “clients”. Of course, this has little to do with tantric massage. The safety of both giver and receiver always must be guaranteed. Loving attunement always comes first.

Set clear boundaries in advance

Every person (except when you are enlightened) has his limits. This is human and is also necessary (read the article on guarding boundaries. So think in advance (both as giver and receiver) what your limits are. Make sure there is a proper intake, and a decent preparation (also with your lover/massage partner). Set clear boundaries in advance: about mental boundaries, and also take care for clarity about physical boundaries. It is a misconception that a tantric massage must always be naked, nonsense. With clothes on is also completely okay (though hard to work with oil then). It is also a misconception that a tantric massage should be focussed on the sexual parts of the body (breasts/sex), nonsense too. Personally, we have given/received many tantric massages only on the head. Also, in addition, actually each cell is sensual, so you will be amazed.

A tantric massage can also be done with clothes on

Sex is out of the question anyway

With sex, it is no longer a massage, but tantric sex

Tantric massage is an energetic massage

Activate and let flow freely

Activating and freeing the flow of life energy (prana) is the main part of tantra massage. Tantra massage is an energetic massage in which sexual energy also gets attention. In a tantric massage, the whole body participates and erogenous zones can also be touched. Of course, always with respect for (mutual) boundaries. When activating life energy, sexual energy plays an important role again. In tantra massage we play with the activation of basic / sexual / emotional / passionate / love / creation / intuitive energy.

Focused on the natural ecstatic state of being

There is a discussion going on whether tantra massage is part of “real” tantra. Well … Tantra is a very practical, body-oriented movement, a vision of life aimed at growing in love and consciousness. In a split second, you can become enlightened (by 1000% surrender), but usually, that is a process in time. Tantra knows different techniques to use on the journey to enlightenment. As far as we are concerned, tantra massage is one of them. Tantra has no purpose other than self-realization: restoring the natural (ecstatic) state of being.

Usually resulting in a wonderful physical, mental well-being

Tantra helps you to become more relaxed, more dynamic, more energetic, more loving and so much more. Actually, you “learn” to enjoy yourself, your body, your (sexual) energy and life itself. This is also the case with a tantra massage. Because this is exactly what happens often: the recipient is enjoying it! Enjoying is fully allowed! A tantra massage is usually nice, sometimes delicious. We, therefore, invite you to fully enjoy receiving ánd giving a tantric massage. Feel, use your senses. Hear, smell, taste, feel and show that you like it. Let your body speak!

Be ready

e-Course Intimacy starts with YOU!No matter how obvious it may seem, we first want to make it very clear how important it is that you can give a tantric massage from your heart. And that you are familiar with intimacy. That you must be able to be intimate with yourself before you can give or receive an intimate, tantric massage.

Living with an open heartSo if you or your partner feel any hesitation about love or intimacy, then we definitely recommend doing first one or both of the following courses: “Intimacy starts with you” and/or “Living from an Open Heart”


What is nót Tantric massage?

There are many types of massage. Of course, all massages have certain practices and techniques in common. Yet there is a big difference with e.g.:

  • Relaxation massage (aimed at relaxation).
  • Sports massage (focused on the muscles).
  • Erotic massage (aimed at pleasure satisfaction).
  • (Body) therapy (aimed at healing).

Nó therapy

Relaxation is an important part of tantra massage, but of a completely different order than relaxation massage. Why? Well because you are really super energetic during/after the massage. You do not fall asleep (unless you are very tired), you are very alert and conscious! A tantra massage is NOT an erotic massage either. If it gets stuck in sexual research or sexual satisfaction, we would call it different. Tantra massage is certainly not a therapy! It’s a kind of fashion these days to see tantra massage as a therapy, but therapy is a profession apart. Tantra massage certainly has healing effects, but that is not an end in itself.

The basics of tantric massage

For a detailed explanation, see the article on the basics of tantric massage. In summary, the following basics stand out:

Tantra massage tips – before you start

  • Create a tantra/massage temple.
  • Provide good conditions (physically, but also mentally).
  • Make clear agreements!
  • Start with an opening ritual.

Tantra massage tips – during the massage

  • Start, stay, end connected to each other.
  • Always keep your attention on the massage.
  • Make sure your massage is demand free, don’t press or force anything.
  • Open your own heart, and open the heart of the receiver.
  • Activate (sexual) energy and distribute it throughout the whole body.
  • Don’t only use your hands. Discover the body to body massage.
  • Once in a while… do nothing at all! Be 1000% present. Enjoy!
  • Use your senses.
  • Give feedback (pleasure sounds?).
  • Build in integration (rest) moments.

Demand free

Some masseurs are more/mainly concerned with what they themselves find pleasant, fun, desirable. Though a tantra massage is not a work job, so as a giver you can also enjoy yourself, still the core is that you are there for the recipient. So forget your own “needs”, stay away from your own issues and above all … do not try to force anything. Nothing has to be done, nothing is needed! Again, don’t try to impose anything (your own goal/body/needs/sexuality) on the receiver! Tune in to what the recipient needs. It is as it is, and it goes as it goes. Trust in love. Perhaps you are disappointed when someone falls asleep. You may not be waiting for an emotional cry, but a tantric massage has no goal. No intended result. It is what it is. Accept that.

Tantra massage tips – after the massage

  • Take enough time to process, to let the massage settle.
  • Take time to exchange your experiences.
  • Realize that a tantric massage can have an effect for days. Be careful/alert.
  • Do not immediately go “full-on”. Take your time and rest after the massage.

10 important tantra massage tips (insights/rules)

See our article on 10 important tantra massage tips where we explain these tips in detail.

  • Don’t work towards a goal.
  • Respect boundaries. #MeToo; set clear boundaries in advance.
  • Keep the wishes of the recipient in mind, of course. However, know that it can turn out differently.
  • It is always an energetic massage. Start with the heart.
  • Activate sexual energy. Energize the whole body.
  • Self-love and awareness (at the recipient) are very important! A lot can come up.
  • Be alert to renewed freezing moments. Prevent limits from being crossed again.
  • Step by step becoming freer … Growing trust … fine. But beware no sex! Practice makes perfect. Enjoying the renewed balance and connection between sex and heart.
  • Give feedback (e.g. pleasure sounds) and provide integration moments (just doing nothing).
  • Tantra massage is more than sexual satisfaction, still: can Yoni or Lingam massage happen?

Do not discharge, but recharge

This is how you experience heart orgasm and body orgasm

Tantric massage techniques

We have written a separate article about Tantra massage techniques, where we explain these techniques in detail. In summary, the most important “techniques”:


  • Attunement in/from the heart. The contact with your own heart is essential, both as giver and receiver. An opening ritual, a heart meditation and heart to heart connection are part of the tantric massage.
  • Tantra massage uses all kinds of massage techniques to relax. A tense body can scarcely flow energetically, so relaxation of body and mind is a first step and important element in tantra massage.
  • Opening the body. If you look closely at how someone is before and after the massage, you see what we mean. The arms and legs are spread out. Most tension/hardness has disappeared and there is a direct response to the touch. The body is open and surrendered. The same thing happens at the cell level. The armor has (partly) disappeared and most of the cells vibrate in an ecstatic frequency.

Activate energy

  • Activating the chakras/life energies through a firm touching or rotation on the chakras. Softening and heating hard or cold spots on the body. Actually, you can use many different activation techniques: rubbing, vibrating, pulsing, tapping etc.
  • Spreading energy – charging. When (basic/sexual/emotional/passionate/love/creative/intuitive) energy is released in the chakras, in a tantric massage this energy is spread throughout the whole body. Every cell in the body becomes energetic. The energy pathways in the body are activated. Starting with the main paths: the upward (liberating) and descending (manifesting) flow. E.g. with long strokes across the body. Especially the connection between sex and heart is important.


  • ‘Plateau-ing’ – integration. The energy level in the body rises (you become more energetic) and at the same time, you remain completely relaxed. In practice, however, a person (body/mind) needs some time to allow more openness (vulnerability) and to get used to the (much) higher energy levels. That is why often several massage sessions are required to achieve a complete relaxation/opening/flow. Also, in a single session, energy plateaus and the associated integration moments are required. After a period of relative rest, more energy can be activated and distributed.

Possible effects of tantra massage

Gives peace and relaxation

Tantra massage is a massage that gets you out of your head. A massage that brings peace and relaxation to your body. You will be calm and relaxed (but you will not fall asleep). During/after the massage it becomes quiet in your head (sometimes completely empty).

Brings your life energy into motion

Tantra massage brings you the experience of wonderfully flowing life energy. Your body armor becomes softer, thinner or even disappears. The tantric touch is healthy, massage has a potential healing effect. It is possible that blockages, emotional injuries come to the surface. There may be an emotional release, including physical reactions such as shaking, crying, shocks. Even though tantra massage is not the same as healing, this release might heal some blockades.

Makes you soft and loving

Tantra massage opens your body and your heart. You become more loving, you learn what it is like to love yourself. You experience that everything, including your sexuality, can be there, without judgment. And that gives a wonderfully liberating and deeply satisfied feeling.

Is enjoying

You will feel comfortable in your body. The combination of relaxation and a lot of energy means that you can enjoy yourself, your body, your energies. With the love transformation, so you might become not only joyful but even blissful. An ecstatic state of being is possible. The more you surrender, the better you will feel.

In short, tantric massage is…

  • A loving touch.
  • Full of attention and presence.
  • The whole body participates.
  • Energetic massage, including sexual energy.
  • Without standard form, without predefined result.
  • With respect to (mutual) boundaries.
  • Establishes a (heart) connection between the giver and receiver.
  • Focused on the natural, ecstatic state of being of the recipient.
  • Usually resulting in a wonderful physical, mental well-being (of both).

What is tantric massage?

Read more

What is tantric massage is part of a series of 4 articles on tantra massage:

  1. Tantric massage: a detailed explanation of tantric massage. (this article)
  2. The basics of tantric massage: an explanation of the more practical aspects.
  3. 10 important tantra massage tips: 10 important massage insights/rules to know.
  4. Tantra massage techniques: an explanation of tantra massage techniques.

Our support

aanraken vanuit het hartWe are happy to help you with this. Connect your hands with your heart! If you are looking for a nice heart-meditation to do with your massage-partner, try this free heart meditation.

Lots of people have some trouble opening their heart. They start with intimate interaction, without being able to really feel love, and to share love. A tantric massage is first of all the exchange of love-energy.

From Lust to Love - Heart connectionSo when don’t feel totally open, having an open heart, ready to share your love with the partner you are working with… Or if you feel your partner might have some heart-issues and is maybe not able to fully receive your love in this loving touch, first do ( some part of) our lovely e-Ccourse “Living with an Open Heart”  to open your heart(s).


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What is tantric massage?

Hi, my name is Solana. Tantra is important for me, because it makes my life so beautiful. I learned to live my life with an open heart. Sharing love make the world a better place ❤ I enjoy life! Tantra is in my life for more than 20 years now. Satori and I fully enjoy it. We gave tantric workshops for many years. Now we share our love ánd wisdom in our online tantra websites (ENG/NL). See online-tantra.com or .nl

3 thoughts on “What is tantric massage?

  • blank
    3 July 2018 at 13:04

    Not often I see this concrete knowledge in one place about the tantra massage. Very proud that there are authentic websites like that as I am a tantra practitioner myself.

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    17 April 2018 at 16:00

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  • blank
    31 March 2018 at 22:37

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