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What is a heart orgasm
And how to get it
Your heart is the gateway to a happy life. In your heart is the center of your being, it is the seat of love. This article is part of a series of articles about the heart and ecstasy.
The series consists of the following articles:
Words like “delight”, “bliss” and “ecstasy” approach the feeling to me that you can also have with a heart orgasm. If you start googling the word ecstasy you will find answers such as: “a state of being outside of yourself of delight”. In our opinion, however, it is a state of being, that is not outside of yourself. It is understandable that it is expressed in this way. Because it is a state of being that puts you in full contact with your source, with what you really are. And in that state of being you are not separate, then you are óne. One with yourself, one with life, one with the All. Many people do not recognize that state of being at all (anymore) as in themselves and therefore seek it – unfairly – outside of themselves.
In our opinion:
“Ecstacy is the blissful state of the deepest connection
with yourself and (thus) with the All!”
Of course there are different ways to get to experience those feelings. And the heart orgasm is – although not so well known – a very special form way to experience this. I would like to tell you more about that.
The mystery of the orgasm
“All energy is orgasmic energy”
The shivers you get across your skin. Tingles that run up and down your spine, and rush at the back of the head. Everything in life comes from and is created by orgasmic energy. In the west we have all been taught that orgasmic energy is just limited to the climax felt during sex. But that is not even scratching the surface of the full potential of orgasmic energy.
What is a heart orgasm
To explain what a heart orgasm is, and how it feels, the best way for me to explain this, is to describe my own experience
What is an orgasm
But at first I want to tell a little bit about orgasm in general. An orgasm can be defined as:
the sudden and involuntary release of tension that is caused by sexually related stimuli.
In a simple orgasm, the muscles in your pelvic floor move rapidly, they are vibrating. A wonderful feeling. The moment you cum, there are all small muscle spasms. You’re whole pelvic area vibrates, all spasms and vibrations. Your heart starts beating fast, your breathing quickens, your blood pressure too. The tension builds up. You feel the excitement rise … If you are together with a partner you raise the pace. Thrusts become more firm and violent … your breath speeds up. The temperature rises.
Your focus is now on discharge … everything is focused on the orgasm… and that is precisely what comes next… a moment of intense enjoyment, relaxation. A moment of “out of the world” … It flashes in your head. Time and place are gone, everything is perfect. An orgasm can bring you for a short time out of your head, out of your body. A (rather short) moment of unity, of heavenly delight.
A heart orgasm takes you for a much longer time into a completely different dimension, transcending everything you’ve experienced so far. Let me tell you more about that.
My first heart orgasm
Some 10 years ago I felt an orgasm in my heart center for the first time. During beautiful lovemaking with my partner, I felt so much energy. In my genitals, my lower belly, I felt a huge wave of (sexual) warm, tingling energy. We stopped all actions, all activity, all doing. I lay back and started some conscious, loving breathing into this energy.
And then, suddenly, I felt it rise. Rise from my lower body, along my spine, to my heart. I felt the energy flowing into my heart. And by ‘my heart’ I actually mean: my heart chakra.
I got this feeling that my heart was getting fuller, bigger, warmer… Growing full of this strong tingling energy. I could see it as full of silver-colored light sparkles. Growing, expanding more and more… till this point, that felt like an eruption, an explosion… a big release of that light, that energy…
So much love flowing into the world. There were no thoughts, just a huge feeling of expansion. It felt dissolving in a big space of love and light.
This state came on out of nowhere and without intention, which is what was so special about this particular experience. It came like a lightning strike through my heart chakra. These orgasmic sensations kept rolling like waves until the whole of my body was experiencing tingling and ecstasy. I then found tears were streaming down my face. Not from pain or sorrow, but from letting go, from surrender.
There suddenly was a huge feeling of relaxation in my body. And then I cried my eyes out. Why? From some sort of relief that gave me the enormous feeling of releasing my ego, my little self as I would later describe it. At that moment I was in a state of being beyond all words, all thoughts, all emotions even… I was included in a much larger whole.
A sense of unity, of wholeness, of BEING. A feeling of a cosmic experience. A feeling of pure bliss. And in a way, I also cried because of the loss of that state of being. We are there only for moment, while there is this deep longing to be there forever!
Full body orgasm
And it didn’t stop there. That feeling of love and light, that huge energy, spread further and further from my heart. First to my head, to my third eye. A tingling, sparkling feeling from my heart to my third eye. And from there back to my body. My whole body felt tingling, flowing. Almost as if it no longer existed as an individual body, but merged into, was part of everything around me. Not being there anymore. And at the same time being complete, whole, one. A state of being Love. A state of just BEING …
I don’t know how long this took. At that time I was completely out of time and place. It was a blissful feeling, a feeling of nothing and everything.
Very slowly I awoke from this state of being again. I became aware again of my partner, who sat lovingly smiling at my feet, hugging my feet lovingly.
I felt full of wonder at what happened, completely full of all those wonderful feelings. It was an amazing physical experience, but mostly an overwhelming feeling of connectedness, of unconditional love. And let me be there with an enormous feeling of well-being, happiness, and Bliss.
For my soul, there was this deep profound feeling of unconditional love. I felt my heart as completely open, allowing myself to receive this divine experience, something very magical happened. All my problems were gone! All I saw was how beautiful and amazing my life actually is.
I could feel the truth of unconditional love that naturally bubbles up from within us when we stop defending and protecting our ego. In a heart orgasm or a whole-body orgasm, the ego is gone. When the ego is gone, it’s living without fear of someone or some experience happening. It can even feel as seeing and experiencing God, or the divine, cosmos, just as you want to name it. As the old saying goes, “If you cannot see God in all, you cannot see God at all.”
How to get a heart orgasm
I’ve had a few heart orgasms in my life, and each one was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. As I told you already, my body was completely filled with bliss. It felt like my heart expanded 3 feet larger, extended outside of my body, and I was surrounded by a tremendous light. I felt healed, whole and at peace. A heart orgasm is definitely one of the most amazing experiences you can have in life, and I’d like to show what you can do so that you can have one.
A heart orgasm is definitely one of the most amazing experiences you can have in life, that’s why I love to tell about it. About what you can to do, so that you can have one. You can start by preparing yourself to receive an orgasmic experience so that it can enter you emotionally and physically. It’s similar to getting yourself ready to receive a sexual orgasm in the sense that you relax and open yourself enough to physically allow it to occur.
You certainly cannot force a heart orgasm to happen, this would simply limit its expansive effects. Just give your heart permission to experience more love than it can contain. This means you’ll need to release any protective shields around your heart, which are keeping your heart experience small and limited.
I encourage you to trust that your heart is an orgasmic place of expression as is every part of your body; whether it expresses itself in small tingles, full openness with waves travelling through you or tears and laughter… all are equally beautiful as no orgasm is better than another; it all classifies as so much pleasure!
Create the space
In principle, a heart orgasm is not something you can just “do”. It is not like a simple form of self-gratification, such as when you induce a physical orgasm. But of course you can create space for yourself in which that can happen.
And the first important is, that you are totally in the here and now. Not “in your head”, thinking about past or future, or about work, household things, other persons, whatever… Full awareness of what is here in the moment creates an open space for what could happen.
It starts with an open heart
In lovemaking or if you are alone with yourself, an open heart is the starting point for a heart orgasm. You might understand that a closed heart cannot experience heart orgasm. A closed heart has no room to feel love and to let it flow. Then there is tension, and the orgasmic energy flow is blocked. If you are in lovemaking with a partner or alone with yourself, an open heart is the starting point for a heart orgasm.
There are several things that can lock your heart. For example, you can find yourself in a stressful situation, practically, but also emotionally. Then your energy is stuck, the free energy flow is blocked. Either you are (at the moment) unable to follow your heart desires, or you are not even aware that it is. Perhaps some pain piece is touched now, or recently, which causes you to close yourself.
(Old) pains ensure that your heart is locked. And everyone experiences that sometimes, so be aware of that. We are all hurt in life, in different ways. You might have experienced the loss of a partner, abandonment, rejection, someone hurt you… It creates emotional pain, and often heart pain. That can hurt so much.
There is a chance that you will close yourself/your heart off for that pain by putting a shield around your heart. The nasty thing about it is that you cannot close yourself off for one feeling. If you have a shield around your heart, chances are that you can no longer feel. That you can therefore no longer feel and allow love.
Heal your heart
So if you have closed your heart, locked it up, then it is time to do something about it. To remove the shield. That requires courage from you. The courage to face the pain. But also to let go of the pain, and to heal yourself.
You can actively get to work on it yourself: by looking for insight, where the (old) pain that was hit again comes from. By finding ways to relax in what there is. And certainly also through heart meditations. You can find more about old pains, closed hearts and how you can open your heart (again) in the article: heal your heart
Know that a heart orgasm is also something that can happen very spontaneously. For example during or after your lovemaking.
But with ‘lovemaking’ I’m not talking about simple sex. There the focus is on pleasure gratification, physical loading, and unloading. Thoughts/fantasies often also play a role in your head. Nothing wrong with that, but the focus is often not on Love, on the heart. You can also get a spontaneous heart orgasm in (heart) meditation.
The desire to be together, sexually, with another, to become one together, arises from the spiritual need to return to the unity of creation, the unity with yourself. As the sexual energy flows between your bodies and merges, your lovemaking becomes an experience of deep intimacy, in which you can even experience ecstasy.
When you are in love with someone, and you are in each other’s loving presence or during lovemaking, in many cases your heart will suddenly open spontaneously.
Sex and lovemaking is something quite different. In tantra sex, you make a deep energetic connection with your partner. It is a special, sacred meeting, a relaxed journey of discovery in which sex and heart can participate altogether. Here you can find an extended article that will explain a lot.
From lust to love, from sex to heart
In an actual love-making, where you do not disappear into your lust, but you consciously “Make Love”, the space for a (spontaneous) heart orgasm is much larger. It is important, not to disappear in the feelings of lust. Sexual energy is a very beautiful and strong energy, but it tends to stay local, in your lower belly, and to get its way to discharge. Then there is an orgasm, and its done. Energy gone, sleep…
When you can dive into pleasure, fully enjoying the sexual energy that if flowing between you, and yet can stay conscious, things change. Then there is space to transform this energy to a higher level. Then you can also remain emotionally open long enough to tap into one of the most sensitive aspects of human nature and discover that your heart opens so fully, that you have an ecstatic “heart orgasm”.
In our e-course Tantric sex explained we share some of the most profound techniques for tantric lovemaking. E.g. re-discovering your sexual energy, getting together in a love bubble, how you can transform your sexual energy to love-energy, and even become multi-orgasmic.
You can use lots of techniques in lovemaking with a partner, but also in self-love (masturbation).
Bring focus by touch
Another tantra technique is how to move your energy from your genitals to your heart by touch. Both men and women can learn to connect the genitals and the heart. Touching these two areas at the same time can help a person experience this connection, which carries the potential for immense healing.
Spend time physically nourishing the heart and chest area with all of your attention and presence on this magnificent feeling place. E.g. during foreplay or oral sex and while you are stimulating the genitals of your partner, remember to place your hand on his or her heart once in a while. Help him/her/yourself to bring the focus not only on the genitals but also on the heart. Not only on lust but also on love. You can also take some oil, and massage the heart area for a few minutes.
Think about experiencing a pure heart orgasm or extending the orgasmic release from the genitals up to the heart. You may want to wave your hand over your partner’s body with a special focus on the heart. Remind your partner that orgasm can spread up to the heart.
Use your breath
It can be of tremendous help if you consciously guide your sexual energy from your lower body to your heart with your breathing: breath in through your sex, and then take the energy with your breath to your heart and there breathe out fully. In lovemaking, take the time to stop “doing” for a moment, and breathe together. Let that feeling of love grow in your heart.
Solo or with a partner
Initially, tantrika’s experience this form of orgasm after prolonged sessions of tantric lovemaking. But with practice, they are able to bring themselves to this state using nothing but breathing and focus. No physical touch or ejaculation is necessary in this orgasmic phenomenon. This solo sexual experience can (and should) be incorporated into lovemaking with a partner, so the different types of orgasms merge, and the couple is able to transcend all previously believed pinnacles of pleasure.
Use the power of your sexual energy
The power of your sexual energy can become the power of love. The fullness, this huge energy flow, bring it to your heart. Fill your heart with love. Breath upwards to your heart and imagine your heart to become warm, soft, full of love… And do it again, and again… till love flows over…
Visualization is also a way to focus. Visualize that with your breath a wave of warm red energy is flowing from your genitals to your heart. On the way see it transforming from warm red into bright silver light, that is filling your heart. Although love is also most connected to a red color, in this case, it is about love ánd light, about the fullness of life.
You can direct your love to yourself, let is surround you like you are in a cloud of light. Or send it to your partner. Or just into the world.
Remember, a heart orgasm is not something you dó. There is no guarantee that is will happen, but it certainly creates the possibility.
Of course, this is only a very short description of what you can do with these techniques. But we hope you get the point. Of you want to follow this tantric path of sexuality and love, we recommend to read these articles.
Dare to be vulnerable
You dare to open. Dare to be yourself, and dare to happen what happens. Maybe the excitement takes over, maybe there comes sadness, pain that gets hit. And maybe nothing happens. You may laugh or cry. Different emotions can see the light. Let it happen. Dare to show yourself (to your partner) exactly as you are at the moment. Don’t hold back, surrender. Only: don’t disappear in your emotions. Experience them, but don’t disappear into them. Stay aware and embrace everything / yourself very lovingly. Be gentle.
There are quite some tantric ways to open your heart and to let down your shields. A very important help is your consciousness. Be aware of your shields. What triggers them. When you put them on. And notice when you are more open, what helped you to get there.
Become aware of what lives in your heart and what your desires and intentions are. Seek the contact and intimacy of your body and your heart. Loving yourself, that’s what helps a lot.
Accepting what is happening in your life, looking at possibilities instead of impossibilities, coming into contact with your real heart desires and investigating how you can shape that, and doing so, are important steps in the life of someone who wants to live from the heart.
Meditation brings focus and quiet to the mind. (Heart) meditation can bring relaxation, concentration, and more love in the lives of most people. Practicing heart meditation will teach you how to focus your attention.
Doing a heart meditation, during the lovemaking or when you are alone, has a huge impact on your heart. It opens your heart and anything can happen in that open loving space. Getting an orgasm this way is something that I have experienced myself and have seen happen to others.
A special way to get a heart and / or full body orgasm is through the Orgasmic Meditation. It is a very special meditation, in an extremely precarious form. It requires a lot of awareness, love and presence, both from the giver and the receiver. The meditation seems focused on achieving a physical orgasm, but goes much further than that. It is a meditation that can have a great loving, healing and transforming effect on both giving and receiving.
The whole point of the Orgasmic Meditation is to get into an orgasmic state. This is a physical experience that is similar to that of orgasm, but it takes longer and it is also a total body experience. If you go deeper, even the body is forgotten and we come into a space where time and place cease to exist. When this happens, our sense of limitations and separation disappears. In the state of orgasm, we feel fully present and connected. We feel one, the sense of separation has disappeared.
Not only for woman
I learned, but more importantly experienced directly, the pure potential of bliss that can be accessed through breath, touch, intention and focus, in lovemaking and in meditation. It is really awesome what the female body can do when orgasmic energy is linked with sacred intention and heart-based consciousness.
But although it seems to be more obvious for women, the heart orgasm is certainly not reserved for women. I have seen a man who was so completely indulged in a tantric heart meditation that he spontaneously got a heart orgasm and walked around bliss all day long.
The multi orgasmic man
It is also possible for men to deepen and enrich their orgasmic experience. An experience for men, who shows that more is possible than a short, fast physical orgasm.
Being multi-orgasmic means that you can have multiple orgasms one after the other, without the need to recover. After a “normal” peak orgasm there is a “valley” period. Sexual energy is discharged, there is relaxation, the penis is limped, appetite for sex disappears and usually, it also ends your lovemaking.
If you are multi-orgasmic, you can have more orgasms through intercourse, with no recovery period. A multi-orgasmic man does not discharge his energy, he “charges” during sex. He remains energetic, can make love much longer and experience multiple orgasms. It can also bring them a profound experience that transcends the physical, brings them into their hearts, into a new, extra dimension of love.
Which is also great for woman: sex with a multi-orgasmic man is to have fun, enjoy hours of each other, of your lovemaking. Tantra offers techniques and exercises for men to become multi orgasmic. More about that in: What is multi orgasmic
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