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Twin flames, how to deal with that as (ex) partner

Twin flames – heaven but also hell –

ouchh it hurtsRecently I heard and read stories about this topic. I also had many coaching sessions related to the encounter of twin flames or soul mates. Often these stories focus on the encounter of the twin flames themselves. How great, how magnificent it is. But the encounter doesn’t always end well. It seems that most twin flames can’t stay together in this life. Which of course causes a lot of pain. However, I wrote earlier about The lessons of meeting your twin flame.

This article is more about the other parties involved. I describe a process that they might recognize and in between, I give some tips on how to deal with it. See also the article: Letting go is not easy. Enjoy reading and don’t hesitate to share your experiences.

The world is upside down

the world upside downWell, the world is upside down. Not only for the twin flames, but also for their partners. From one day to the next, the world is completely different. The whole family ends up in a roller coaster. I know of many variants that may arise, but the common thread is that both twin flames no longer use their rational mind. They make scratchy (unloving) statements and/or make quick impulsive decisions. Long-standing relationships are canceled “overnight”. The (positive) attention is entirely focused on the twin flame, and you can do little good anymore. The normal daily course of life is disrupted … Have they gone crazy ???

Keep functioning

The partner(s) of the twin flame has the ungrateful task of keeping things going. Not only is there the shock in the relationship that needs to be processed, but often the twin flame isn’t concerned with the earthly/practical issues of everyday life at all. As in many crisis situations, the partners usually live in “survival mode”. Extremely useful (sómeone must keep his head working), but also good to be aware of.

If you don’t recognize this… then things can go crazy. This awareness that you are surviving is good, especially when children are involved. No matter what’s happening, a basis that is as stable as possible always is só important. Even if there is denial … Even if there is confidentiality.

Energetically, so much is happening! Children are really not retarded and feel very much. Opening up as much as possible is important to keep things running and to cause as little damage as possible.

Twin flames, how to deal with that as (ex) partner

You don’t have to understand

Because it is incomprehensible… Your mind always wants to understand. You google, you read… and you don’t get it. All you read is that it is so wonderful, so heavenly, so delicious. That might be so, as your (former) partner says that so often. But it’s hell for you. Who writes about thát…?

Process the shock

Of course, for you, the meeting of your partner with his/her twin flame came as a shock. Such things are never foreseeable (if it’s not about compensation at least). So “allow” yourself that shock and everything that goes with it. If you feel anger, if you feel sorrow, let the anger and/or sorrow be there. Don’t try to put it away, don’t go acting, don’t pretend there’s nothing wrong. No, FEEL what you feel and allow yourself.

Feel the pain

Feel the pain, take breathers and feel your sorrow. Fighting against that what’s in you won’t help you. Admit what is there. It will help you accept the inevitable: the things that have already happened. That meeting that has taken place already. No matter your dream, when you wake up there is this (bitter) reality again.

You don’t know how it will go, but at least accept what is. Accept the situation, no matter how unclear, how uncertain it is. Sometimes a divorce is final quickly, sometimes your partner chooses (quickly) for you again.

Anyway, whatever is, or was: process the shock, accept the situation and look ahead. Detach yourself from the shock and start moving again. Forward, to the future. Create (future) perspective …

Invite your (ex) partner to share

Partly for this reason, it is also useful and wise to keep communicating. You may want to shoot him/her, but that won’t help you (your family). Try, no matter how difficult, to stay open for your (ex) partner and listen to his/her story. Listen and disarm your partner. Chances are that yóu get all the negative projections. And the twin flame all the positive ones: (s)he is so awesome and you…  Try to stay out of this discussion! Don’t fight, just listen.

Ans of course, also share your own feelings. Feel what you feel and speak out. You will find that you can be relieved that way. And keep everything to yourself. Speak about yourself, your own feelings, and speak in the I form. Realize that your partner is riding a pink cloud, at least for a while. (S)he may not (really) listen at all and/or do nothing at all with what you say. Then take a deep breath, go to your heart. Feel what you feel and stay with your truth. Do not try to convince or change him/her. And above all … Don’t argue too much, don’t fight.

Twin flames, how to deal with that as (ex) partner

Guard your boundaries

Don’t fight, but don’t let it run over you. You don’t always have to be the wisest, but maybe you are the one with the most sense of reality. Guard your limits! Release your (ex) partner, but share the consequences of his/her actions with him/her. Everyone makes their own decisions, and that also includes consequences.

In earthly life, a lot looks like a compromise. And compromises need the two of you. Guard your limits and take care of yourself. Guard your truth! Take care of yourself, take care of your family. Even if your (ex) partner is completely lost (does not want to bear the responsibility), continue to rely on “acting lovingly”. Surely it cannot be that a heavenly encounter causes so much damage (child suffering)?

Don’t feel like a victim

twin flame - lesson learnedThat doesn’t mean that you have to feel like a victim. On the contrary! Keep things to yourself. Your response is your response and how loving is it? The encounter of your husband/wife with his twin soul also has meaning for you. Find your message, your lesson!

What does this mean to you? Perhaps you were in an unconscious dependency relationship. And maybe this is a test, to teach you what true, unconditional love means. Maybe this is the time to shed your emotional baggage (pain/wounds). Use the energy that is currently available to heal. Find out what you have to do. Look at the bigger picture, sometimes we look so confined …

Seek support

So talk about it. Talk to your loved ones about it. No matter how difficult. And try to listen. Of course, some people will tell you they already warned you. Duh … that’s not what you need! But still…, you can get valuable information from all these responses. Information that broadens your view. It also can give you the opportunity to express yourself. Or the release of pent-up emotion and energy. Crying out can do wonders. Being wonderfully angry and calling your (former) partner names.

Find people who love you and who are well ahead of you. Bask in their attention and love. Allow yourself to be cherished, let it all come in. You need it for a moment. Talk, share, hug …

Don’t do it alone

Also seek support from “peers”, people who have experienced similar events. We always tend to think that we are the only one. That this only happened to us. Well, that’s not the case. We are with many. The number of people meeting their twin soul is increasing, the whole world is in accelerated spiritual development. The number of lagging partners is also increasing! Find them and make use of their experiences, take advantage of them.

Twin flames, how to deal with that as (ex) partner

Don’t make hasty decisions

The world is upside down, everything is changing, and things seem inevitable. But still and above all: don’t make hasty decisions. Stay loving, in everything you say and do. Continue to act lovingly. No matter how difficult, try to be happy for your (ex) partner.

If you really love someone… 

then you grant him/her heaven,

even when you are not around.


Before you make a decision: feel your own presence. Feel that you choose from the source, from balance, from love. Find yourself! Some decisions you will want to make together. Investigate whether that is possible. Express your intention to do this together. For this, first, meet each other in silence. See if you can be together in silence, without words. then see what happens, which decisions feel “right.”

Create a future perspective

Of course, this feels like a killer if you are in this shit. When your world collapsed completely. But take it from me: everything passes. The pain passes. Ans pleasure also passes. Life goes on and pain and pleasure will always be there. So don’t get stuck in the past and create your own future.

live your dreamsYour intention is very important. What do you want to create in this world and with whom? Your partner had a meeting, okay. What did/does it do to him/her? And what does it mean to you? Maybe you want to wait, maybe you break up.

What is your truth?

It is important to find your truth. The encounter with a twin flame contains a spiritual message for everyone involved. Nothing is for nothing. So understand (sooner or later) that message. Look positively and express your intention in the world. Accept everything that comes and actively create your future. Create your own happiness…!!

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Twin flames, how to deal with that as (ex) partner

Hi, my name is Solana. Tantra is important for me, because it makes my life so beautiful. I learned to live my life with an open heart. Sharing love make the world a better place ❤ I enjoy life! Tantra is in my life for more than 20 years now. Satori and I fully enjoy it. We gave tantric workshops for many years. Now we share our love ánd wisdom in our online tantra websites (ENG/NL). See or .nl

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