This post has already been read 426 times!
“I’m a loser, I never manage anything.”
Few adults will agree.
Even so, many people walk around with this child conviction
which sabotages their lives fully automatic ….
The power of convictions
From experience to child conviction
Childhood, and especially the first seven years of life determines how we stand in life, in which way we see the world. During this time you get your most important life experiences. Based on these experiences your beliefs are formed – and your decisions about life are taken – and you develop (survival) strategies to deal with the people around you, with the world.
Your first experiences are crucial. If your birth was a difficult, traumatic experience, chances are that you see your life also as “a fight”. And if you retain the child’s belief that “life is a struggle”, this conviction, later on, will bring more fights (problems) in your life. If your childhood was without much love, you might develop the belief that you are not worthy (or even that you’re worth nothing): “That you have to earn respect/love.” From that child conviction, you develop strategies to get attention/love. This may include an excessive competitive spirit, but also take on the role of the rebellious, or sick child that usually gets a lot of (negative attention. An insecure childhood often leads to the conviction that the world is unsafe. Well, then you see doom and gloom everywhere….
All your norms, values, beliefs, rolls together form the personality that you take on. As a child, you have no choice. As a child, you stand powerless and you have to draw the “conclusion” that it’s all up to you. That’s where your (usually negative) child beliefs are based on. You have to create defenses and handling to keep standing.
But now you’re an adult.
Now there is awareness and choice. Now you can let go all kinds of negative beliefs and/or beliefs that no longer fit you. You áre not all these rules, you áre not your conditioning, but most people identify themselves totally with them. We “are” our name, body, sex, clothing, religion, nationality, our ideas. “We” are different from “them”. All our prejudices (beliefs) can be traced to this separation. And most of our beliefs from childhood still are active !! We do not know, it’s unconscious and automatic. The neglected child is the “pleaser” now. If it is your belief (past experience) that expressing yourself (cry, be angry) causing pain (punishment), you don’t show yourself so easily anymore. Do you watch the way the wind blows first? Making quick contacts and/or operate in an alternating group is thus almost impossible.
When you change the way you look at things,
the things you look at change.
The power of convictions
The world is as you make it
What you believe is what you see. Your beliefs and survival strategies determine what you see in the world. The world is perceived through a very selective filter. Only 1-2% of all the input you get achieves your consciousness. You’re busy all day to perceive selectively. And that selection is determined by your usually unconscious- beliefs. The joke is, the ego is constantly trying to prove that your beliefs are true. The entire selection is to ensure that your beliefs come true. So be careful what you believe! And become aware of your beliefs!!!
What you believe is what you see
If you believe that the world is criminal and unsafe, then your world wíll be criminal and unsafe. What you believe is what you manifest in your life (I’m always the unlucky one) …. Where you think about a lot of time (financial worries) you will see everywhere (and I can not afford it!). Have you ever bought a car? The weeks after you see car ads everywhere !!! Most of you (selection) strategies aim to support and reinforce your beliefs. You are going to broadcast, attract and manifest what / the way you want it. Eventually, you draw the conclusion: you see, it’s true !!!!
So… What are your (child’s) beliefs?
The choice is yours. How would you like to live your life?
Do you let your child beliefs still be active? Or do you make a more conscious “choice”?
Just make a list of your beliefs.
Beliefs about your body, your intellect, your sexuality. What are your beliefs about money, your good, and bad qualities? Beliefs about relationships, loss, old age …
Strategies and behavior
You can also watch the (survival) strategies you use. For example, if you always first want to see which way the wind blows, perhaps there is a belief that it isn’t always safe to show yourself (your thoughts/feelings). Take a look at what are (huge) triggers. E.g. if you are irritated with endless chatter, then you are convinced that you have to think first before you say something. That you can speak when you have to report something sensible (haha you hear your father/mother speaking again?).
Negative beliefs and strategies
Many of your beliefs, roles, and strategies arise from guilt or shame. Of not being accepted in your true being by your surroundings. Childhood is peppered with rejection and negative conditioning, upbringing we call it. And shame is a very deep emotion. Shame says that YOU are not good, that there’s something wrong with you. Negative beliefs keep you small, limit your life energy and your ability to enjoy life. If you have often enough been told that “you will get nowhere ” then the conviction: “I do not try it, because it never will work” is lurking. Know what your child’s beliefs are….
The power of convictions
A new beginning
We are all getting older, but maybe it’s time to also grow up, become an adult. To thank your parents for their good care (as much as they could) and to move on. Honor the child in you, but not give it the unconscious dominant position it held any longer. To live like you want to live, in a way that makes you happy.
Can you be who you are? Are you happy? Do you feel free? If so, maybe you don’t want to change anything. For me, happiness is the touchstone for life.
Are you nót happy? Are you searching? Maybe it’s time to look at your beliefs some more. You have a choice, everything is now in your own hands. Be aware of your (child’s) beliefs and realize what positive they brought you. As football player Johan Cruijff said: every disadvantage has its advantage. Cherish the qualities that have arisen by this. Accept what was, and be at peace with why they were there … and then you can continue!
If you keep on thinking / doing the same, nothing will change.
Growing up means you leave education behind you – to leave what is not yours. Lovingly perceive your (child) beliefs and create new beliefs without you identifying with them inseparable. Rely on life and trust that who you are.
Dare to be Yourself.
Dare to bring a breath of fresh air and show (too) yourself and listen to what you stand for and go for.
The power of convictions – Life is good !!!
Life is a game, so play roles with fun and dare to be yourself. The world is how you make it. For me, life surely is to enjoy. So enjoy now!
Do as much as possible what suits you, what makes you happy. Don’t worry, everything always will be alright. Because life is a party and by growing in love and consciousness you will increasingly enjoy it. A little more balance between thinking, feeling and being.
Lovingly observing everything that’s bothering you. Totally present and from there you meet others, in a delicious connection. Show yourself, open yourself to the other. See and meet the other. Wow, great!
Love rules …
by growing in love and consciousness …
Are you happy with tantra?
Try one of our e-Courses
Hopefully the above made you a little curious. You want to know how you can bring tantra into your life. Look, therefore, look at the overview of our online products. There must be something that suits you. Start today!
For instance do the e-Course Intimacy starts with YOU!
OTC, powered by Online Tantra Leren