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The lessons of your twin flame

The lessons of your twin flame. Lately, I came across many people with issues surrounding the meeting (s) with their twin flame (or a soul mate). I have already written about it (see the article Letting go is not easy). As an addition to that article, now something about the lessons you can learn from it. Because in the universe everything has its purpose… Everything happens to make you grow in love and consciousness.

The experience

Wow, só much pleasure!

verliefdThe person who met his twin flame knows better than anyone else how deep the connection between two people can go. In fact, that connection is always there, because we are all one.

If you drop your armor, if you open up and show yourself completely and the other does that also…. then you’ll end up – puffff – in a deep, oh so wonderful connection in the soul’s space.

Of course (!) this doesn’t happen to/with everyone. Only very rarely you will find someone who vibrates on the same (soul) frequency and invites you to make a connection; who calls you to come home. When that happens it usually takes a split second. Most of the times the experience is very intense and overwhelming (mind-blowing). And yes, normal time and place dimensions completely vanish. For a moment you find yourself in another formless dimension … Marvelous!!! Words fall short to describe how it feels.

Ouch, it hurts

But yes, back in time, back in the world, various problems arise. Briefly summarized, it means that you get a piece of the downside of the nice things…. namely misery. After the (often short) moment of connection, the goodbye comes. And then you feel the pain of the absence; of separation, of homesickness, of unfulfilled desire. Deep sorrow can arise when it appears that your soul mate can’t be with you in this earthly world. For example, because he/she already is in a relationship and doesn’t want to give it up. Or frustration, because the differences between you are so great that there can be no question of a satisfactory “normal” relationship.

Only very rarely people actually get the chance to enter into a “normal” relationship with his/her twin flame. In the majority of cases, the encounter brings much pain, sadness, frustration …

The lessons of your twin flame

So, what is the lesson…

in volle bloeiWhy do you come across a twin flame? The mind always wants explanations. I’m not very fond of “why” questions, but I do feel the need to share some insights from my own experience and that of others I met.

In the first place … Why? I already wrote it, everything that happens in your life is primarily intended to learn from it. And it’s simple, you are here, on earth, for a reason. You have a mission, a soul purpose. All that happens is to give you the chance to make that potential come to full bloom. It is a chance to learn. A situation to get to know yourself. A challenge to grow in love and awareness.

See the gift

Remind yourself who you are. Experiencing a deep connection is a huge gift. Because don’t we all have a great desire for connection (read an article about that here)? Looking for connection.

No matter how your meeting ended … See what it brought you: look at the meeting as a great gift and be thankful. Only a few people in this world are given the opportunity to experience such a deep love connection; to be able to take a look at the soul world. Perhaps it is of little consolation, but cherish the experience! Recognize the spiritual wisdom that has come to you.

Realize that now you know from your own experience that there is another world. A world where time and place have disappeared. A dimension in which matter and form no longer exist. A space where all separation appears to be an illusion. And now you know it! You have had that sense of unity. Not only with the other person, but especially with yourself. The peace and calmness, and at the same time the fullness, the bliss experience of just being (together). To be complete, to be who you really are. And you know,  that in addition to a body and a mind, you are also a soul. You just came home …

The lessons of your twin flame

Unmask the projection …

And then, after the meeting with your soulmate, when you are back in time, place and matter… From this (soul) connection arise the mind-body problems of projection and free space. The mind can’t believe that the blissful feeling that you had is “just” your natural state of being. No, the mind is used to project “pain and pleasure” onto the outside world. So, certainly, it must be your twin soul who is responsible for your happiness. And this happiness must be repeated …

The mind can’t handle uncertainty. Therefore the mind wants to maintain the connection. the mind wants to freeze and to reproduce. Your body, your heart (?) supports this because you feel super … More, more !! And because of the intensity of the experience, your ego gets involved. The urge to reconnect becomes a goal, even a fixation in itself. And this can be intense and even obsessive. You can only think of your twin flame. The projection on the other (as the supposed source of your happiness) is total. There is absolutely no room for others anymore. And if this doesn’t happen to you, then perhaps it is your twin flame claiming you!

Feel what is yours…

Meeting your twin flame is a perfect moment to sharpen your consciousness. Perceiving how your mind, how all those layers of your personality are put together. Unmask the projections, because the bliss is yours! Of course, the other person plays a role (is a catalyst) and even releases something in you (a vibration). But the feeling, the experience, the bliss is yours. That is what you are! And that is what can show up at different times and/or in different situations, with different people.

Embrace the pain

Of course, the (socially) conditioned mind creates conflicts with existing relationship patterns. Because you have current relationships, or you have a family. And often this creates trouble. The mind is projecting the future. And according to the mind, investing in one relationship always goes at the expense of the other, which of course is not wanted. Or maybe the values, beliefs or lifestyle of your soulmate don’t suit you (or your dream partner) and/or the people around you.

The mind turns everything into a (moral) conflict. Most times, whatever you do you will end up in an impossible situation. Your mind forces you to choose. But whatever you choose, you always lose. There is always pain: feeling guilt, sadness, fear… Or you are hurting your relationship, or your soulmate, or yourself. And it gets too busy in your head. You are in your head, thinking and worrying more and more. And the connection is slipping away…

The lesson is, therefore, to expose your mind (ego) as a troublemaker. Put your body and mind at the service of who you really are, instead of the other way around. Don’t fight your mind, don’t fight your pain. No, just do the opposite. Embrace your mind, embrace the pain in love. Acceptance of everything there is, of everything that you are at this moment, that is the key to peace and relaxation. Maybe It is not so great, but resisting it doesn’t help either.

The lessons of your twin flame

Invitation to stay with yourself

earth and heavenExperiencing a deep connection is one big invitation to stay with yourself. Because there is a great danger that during the connection you gradually disappear (in heaven and/or hell). However, coming home (within yourself) does not mean that you lose the connection with your body and mind. That you ascend and disappear into space. No, coming home means that you are bringing heaven to earth. That you are full and overflowing, instead of running empty. That you experience the bliss of connection, while staying on your own feet: firmly grounded and in full power.

The ultimate lesson of your twin flame is to be able to connect with the other and yet stay completely centered. That might seem contradictory, but it is not. Because here on earth, in this life, you áre that unity of your body-mind-soul. There is no other way! And that’s why it’s so important to learn not to lose yourself. To take responsibility for your own life. And to grow in consciousness and use it to stay in your own power.

Invitation to stay with your truth

Use your entire being to learn to stay with your truth. I see many people giving themselves away for an intimate connection. You can discuss many things, you can “please” or make compromises, but be aware of the areas that touch your core. If you make the wrong decisions (cutting yourself short), it certainly won’t make you happier (in the end). Body-mind-soul; feel what your truth is, and live that truth completely, a 100%.

The lessons of your twin flame

Learning what true love is

Sometimes an ultimate connection seems to stand in the way of freedom. In the “normal world” (of the mind) you will also find this: the head/mind is selective and the body has preferences too. But the heart is unconditional. Connection (love) and freedom (consciousness) go hand in hand. In the timeless dimension there is an ultimate connection but at the same time ultimate freedom. It is important to realize that love without freedom is not true love.

Who really loves someone, grants him/her heaven. Isn’t it? Even if you are not there yourself. In practical terms, this could even mean that you won’t see your twin flame anymore and that it is completely okay. Jealousy is just a sign that you reason from your head. And needing someone is the needy mind that speaks. Connect with your heart (and soul) and see what the voice of love has to say to you.

Embrace the balance between freedom and connection

For 99% your life takes place here on earth, in the time and place dimension. For the mind, it’s always a trade-off. The mind always turns one into two. The mind turns every phenomenon into a contradiction. And thus freedom and connection become opposites, instead of the unity they are.

You live here on earth. When you are alone (free), sooner or later you will want to connect. When you are together (connected), sooner or later you want to be alone (free). “Choose” your position at any time and enjoy the pendulum movement from being free on one side to connection on the other.

If you ask me: “go for balance”

grenzen-balansBalance… For example in the (mind) mix of connection and freedom. Problems arise when the balance between connection and freedom is disturbed. Connection without freedom becomes a prison. Freedom without connection becomes isolation. If you want to be happy keep focus on this balance in your life.

Also, note the mix between body-mind-soul. Of course, you can live completely from your body & mind. Nice and rational, focused, believing in a manageable, beautiful world. Unfortunately, you (even the very rich and powerful) will be constantly thrown back and forth between heaven and hell, between pleasure and pain. The spiritual search is no different. Whoever has tasted the world of connection, feels a strong desire to go inside. But don’t let yourself be fooled by your mind by making it a goal again.

Life is here and now, not there and then. You can’t dó it, you can just bé. Breathe, unwind, relax, open yourself, enjoy your heart…. And observe what happens. Feel that you are present.

The lessons of your twin flame

In summary, the lessons of your twin flame (soul mate) are:

  • Think of it as a great gift: now you know from your own experience who you are, and what the ultimate connection is
  • You get the chance and the ability to sharpen your consciousness: your happiness is in yourself, not in the other
  • Choosing is losing: embrace the pain and expose your ego as a troublemaker
  • You know how to connect with someone, totally, and still stay with yourself
  • You know what your truth is and make no concessions
  • You can learn what true love is: knowing that love without freedom is no real love
  • Freedom and connection go hand in hand: find the balance that fits in your life

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The lessons of your twin flame

Hi, my name is Solana. Tantra is important for me, because it makes my life so beautiful. I learned to live my life with an open heart. Sharing love make the world a better place ❤ I enjoy life! Tantra is in my life for more than 20 years now. Satori and I fully enjoy it. We gave tantric workshops for many years. Now we share our love ánd wisdom in our online tantra websites (ENG/NL). See or .nl

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