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Tantric sex – first steps

How to start with tantric sex

first stepsTantric sex – first steps. More and more people are getting interested in Tantra. Because of the association with sex, a lot of couples become also interested in tantric sex. They ask us what to do. They seek for a path to walk on. Of course, every couple has its individual road to go. We cannot predict what fits you best. Actually, there is no general path to walk on. What we can do however is give you some insights into our own path. The things we learned and were important. The sequence of events that took place in our own relationship and tantric discovery.

Enjoy life!

When we started out with tantra we were looking for enjoyment, sex, and fun. Somehow we ended up in a tantric workshop and we got caught in our hearts. It had nothing to do with sex, it had all to do with love and being in our hearts. To feel that tremendous love inside. Love for each other but also for everybody that was there. Body, mind and… dis-covering heart and soul. We were hooked! We loved it, tantra made/makes us very happy. Pleasure, happiness, bliss… If that’s your prime motivation, you’re spot on.

Forget everything you know about sex

Tantric sex - first steps

Tantric sex is mind-blowing. It’s nothing that you know of. Yes, you (hopefully) have had sex, but just forget all about it. Tantra and tantric sex are always fresh, always in the here and now. It’s like your first ecstatic moment (sunset). You didn’t know (had no memory recall) what was happening. So don’t cling on to the past. Be innocent again, forget everything you think you know about sex. Drop it and be as open-minded as you can. If you are totally ignorant about sex, then you can play and explore so much (again and again)!!

Beware of your conditioning

Unfortunately erasing memory isn’t possible. But you can be conscious, you can stay out the routine. Be conscious of your (sexual) conditioning / convictions. This is such a strong influencer of your sex-life. Acknowledge that you are full of lust (animality). Be honest, judgment isn’t needed. Just know that there are pretty much lust and so many patterns in your sexual behavior. Accept this, then change or drop it. Growing in love and consciousness is a choice. Don’t fight your conditioning (fears), embrace it, accept it and move on. Enjoy your (partners) loving presence. Live here and now: respond to the moment… again and again.

Tantric sex – first steps. How to start with tantric sex

Follow your longing

As you will grow in tantric sex, you will discover that sex is a means to an end. Yes, you want sex, you want pleasure, you want to cum and enjoy. 11 minutes of pleasure and a moment of heavenly orgasm. So if that’s what you want: go for it. But do some soul-searching also. What is your real longing? Maybe you are looking for connection, just as we all do. But whatever it is, follow your longing, follow your intuition (heart’s desire). Even if your mind doesn’t approve, go for it / go for the fit. Do what feels right, even if it’s risky (other people don’t approve).

Know the basics of tantra

Tantric sex is just one aspect of Tantra. So we suggest that you familiarize yourselves first with tantra and some tantric basics. Read some articles about tantra (tantra explained), and check out the basics.

Start feeling, activate your body-awareness

In tantra themes you can read what areas of interest tantra has. ‘Feeling’ is one of them. Tantric sex has everything to do with feeling and body-awareness. So start feeling, activate your body-awareness. Awaken your senses. This is so easy to do in day to day life! Regularly take breathers and ask yourself: “how do I feel?”. Use your senses consciously. Conscious walking, conscious tasting, conscious touching. Do a mindful body scan: what do you feel in your body(-parts)?

Tantric sex – first steps. How to start with tantric sex

Start with “simple” tantra meditation

Like everything else, you don’t start at the Olympics. So start with “simple” tantra meditation like conscious breathing. Buddha got enlightened through this simple (!) meditation. Proper breathing is very important in tantric sex, so it’s excellent to start with. Some for simple heart meditation. Getting out of your mind, into your body, to your heart is key in the transformation process (see later on).

couples meditation for tantric partnersFollow up with “simple” duo-meditation

Follow up with “simple” duo-meditation. We have prepared some articles about duo-meditation. There are so many ways to meditate together. Connecting through eye-contact is so beautiful. Doing less and sitting Shiva/Shakti is so fulfilling already. Start synchronizing your breath, energy, being. Get a feel of what the energy play means. E.g. learn to play with sexual energy and/or love-energy

Continue with “simple” tantra sex techniques

Continue with simple tantra sex techniques, like shaking, pelvic moves. Loosen up, free your sexual energy. Doing the Swing of Fire again, but now full on. Learn about how to penetrate and embrace (sexual) energy. Lose the breaks (limitations), release (old suppressed shit), go spontaneous wild, fuck like rabbits (no shame, no guilt).

Tantric sex – first steps

Achieve sexual mastery

If you know sex, if you have indulged in sex, you know that there is / must be more. Sex is pleasurable, but not so fulfilling as you thought. At that point, you are ready to go for sexual mastery and transformation. You then can transform lust (sexual energy) to love (the love frequency) using State of Excitement tools, your SoE tools. You then learn the difference between sex and tantric sex. How you can be together for a much longer time. You fully discover tantric massage. How you can get multi- orgasmic and/or extended heart/body orgasms. Then you definitely go for tantric sex.

Merge into oneness

shiva shakti meltingKeep on playing with polarity and merge into oneness. Tantra has no goal other than being completely yourself. This is a blissful state of being where isolation and separation is no more. Everything (pain/pleasure) comes and goes, only you remain. The last hindrance of duality is removed without doing. Man and woman merge together. The male and the feminine energies merge together. You are one again. Connected to yourself, your partner, to existence. A drop in the ocean of love and consciousness.


Tantric sex – first steps. How to start with tantric sex

Well, we hope that articles have inspired you to join us in the tantric journey. Tantra, tantric sex is so immensely rich! Read the articles, do the (free) meditations, join us in an e-Course.

But most of all!!!

Enjoy life!

Read more

You find related articles by following the links (underlined) in the text of this article.

Back to the key article tantric sex explained

Back to the key article on tantric relationships

Just do an e-Course

On intimacy

Intimacy precedes sexuality, so if you want a firm base, do some personal growth on intimacy first.

On sexuality

Tantric sex – first steps, powered by Solana and Satori



Tantric sex – first steps

Hi, my name is Solana. Tantra is important for me, because it makes my life so beautiful. I learned to live my life with an open heart. Sharing love make the world a better place ❤ I enjoy life! Tantra is in my life for more than 20 years now. Satori and I fully enjoy it. We gave tantric workshops for many years. Now we share our love ánd wisdom in our online tantra websites (ENG/NL). See or .nl

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