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What is Tantra yoga?
Tantra yoga is lovemaking, play, kiss, move and enjoy it…
More than sex…
Most people think about sex when talking about tantra or tantra yoga. However, for us, tantra is much more, so much more than sex. See the key article on tantra: Tantra explained or the article What is tantra.
Tantric technique of expansion
Tantra is all about techniques (tan) of expansion (tra). Tantra yoga is a technique, a tantric practice that uses (condemned) sex positions and body movements to activate life energy. When you grow in your life energy, and at the same time you stay totally relaxed in that energy, you reach a state of awareness that is beyond the physical plane. If you bring your sexual energy up to your heart and to the higher chakra’s, you can “disappear” in a magnificent, loving, divine world.
Playing with the body and sexual energy
Tantra works directly on/with the body and with sexual energy. So it’s inevitable that tantra also has an influence on your sex life. We always argue that it is important to make a distinction between sexual energy and the sexual act. Tantra yoga, however, plays with both. What you do in tantra yoga, is: together with your (or a) partner, you let your bodies play in all kinds of sex positions. Think of the positions of the Kama Sutra (although some might be a bit challenging). You take all kinds of sex positions, and you play a kind of tantra-yoga-sex game. But it’s mostly an energetic game, a game played with much love ánd consciousness.
Tantra yoga works with sexual energy ánd sex positions and can be done with or without physical penetration. In essence, we like to think that tantra yoga is (red) tantra mixed with (pelvic) yoga moves. Tantra is about activating life energy, and sexual energy is a big part of that energy. Later on, we will explain more about how to do this.
Liberation from rigid conditionings
Tantra has to do with reframing our conditionings toward sex, in order to free our frozen (sexual) energy. Sex is mostly condemned, just like the free flowing of sexual energy. So our life energy is stuck and hidden deep down our boy. Yoga, in the way of mudra’s and body postures, has to do with the free flow of (Kundalini) energy, thus revitalizing the body.
The core of Tantra yoga is:
- Restoring the free flow of sexual energy, by activating, and playing with, sexual energy.
- Lovingly and consciously pushing the limits that hold you back, hold your energy down.
- Freeing yourself by re-framing your ideas/beliefs about sex and sexual energy.
- Unmasking and reframing rigid mental conditionings triggered by sexual postures.
- Enjoying the connection, the exchange of sexual energy, and the liveliness of being together.
Tantra yoga – Duo-yoga
A form of tantra yoga that is not sexual is called duo-yoga. Duo-yoga is together going through yoga position. This could be a static position, but also smooth simultaneous movements of both bodies. Read the starting practices later on.
Tantra yoga in your relationship
Tantra yoga can be a great beneficiary in your relationship. It deepens your intimacy level dramatically. This is because the sex act is one of the most sensitive and intimate areas to explore. There is so much shame and guilt in this. You can’t even imagine how much. So discovering this area is absolutely liberating. There is a bodily part in tantra yoga which directs you to all sorts of sex postures. You can play out the whole Kamasutra and get great ideas to incorporate them into your lovemaking. So find out what you like, what your bodies like. You can let your bodies talk without this interfering mind.
Unmasking limiting beliefs and rigid patterns about/in sex
There is also a “mind” part in tantra yoga. Because you will come across your limiting beliefs and patterns about sex. Believes and patterns that hold you, hold your energy down. We are badly educated about sex. Sex is bad, sex is to be condemned. So we stay away from sex, we stay away from sexual energy as much as we can. We use orgasm (in masturbation/sex) as a quick stress releasing practice. Therefore we totally miss the opportunity for being long lasting together in a profound way. We are always in a hurry and goal oriented toward climaxing.
Tantra yoga, like tantra itself, is all for slowing down and relaxing with your partner. Being together and having fun is more important than any goal you can think of. Starting with tantra yoga you will probably discover that reluctance for playing with sex positions. Your mind thinks it’s strange… and resistance kicks in. By staying fully conscious you can become aware of this and push your (unnecessary) limits. Let your body talk, let your energy flow freely. Become aware of your limiting conditioning and free yourself by reframing your beliefs. Read more, if you want, in the article The power of Convictions.
Playing with your partner
Going through the moves is a little mechanic at first. After a while, however, you can really play with each other. Enjoying intimate moves, sometimes very passionate, sometimes slow and highly intense. Going through the moves is even more fun. Going from one sex position to another without losing body contact is really a challenge. You can even try this with physical penetration. Playing with your partner like this is fun and also distracts you from your usual goal of climaxing. This way your lovemaking lasts much longer than normal. A big advantage I would say.
Tantra Yoga – Starting practices
The whole point of tantra is about connecting. Consciously and lovingly connecting to your partner. So tantra yoga starts with simple practices. See also tantra basics. Start with conscious breathing together. Then synchronize your breathing. This can either be similar or contrary. Experiment with eye contact. Just look each other in the eyes for a minute.
- Conscious breathing
- Make eye contact
Connect to and boost your sexual energy
Tantra yoga is so much easier and better if you are both sexually aroused. During the moves, you will feel your arousal rise. The secret is to let it go, let your sexual energy flow free. Learning to connect with your sexual energy, therefore, is important. If you like you can excite your body a little before you go into tantra yoga. Just sit face to face and arouse yourself (or your partner). For your body, it doesn’t matter where this excitement comes from. You can physically stimulate or fantasize… Make some fire down there.
- Place your hand on your sex.
- Arouse yourself physically or fantasize.
- Place your hand on the sex of your partner.
- Arouse her/him.
- Whatever you do, make some fire…
Tantra yoga is lovemaking,
play, kiss, move and enjoy it…
Mirror your partner in the sex act
Crazy as it may seem, the first thing we suggest is that you mirror your partner while acting the sex positions. Make love with an imaginary lover. Do all the positions and moves that you know. Do them so that your partner can mirror them. So you synchronize the lovemaking.
Do the basic poses and moves
The missionary position is, of course, a great starting position. Try it, while still watching your breathing. Stay connected, feel your body (energy), feel the body (energy) of your partner. Keep eye contact. Relax and don’t “do” too much. Feel the energy, feel the warmth in your loins. Focus on your genitals and breath low… Then start to move your pelvis a little. Stay alert, your whole awareness is on what you feel (down there). If your mind is interfering, notice it but don’t let it bother you. Stay with the practice.
Dare to be wild
Then try it doggie style. Play out this sex position. Do it the same as before. Very conscious and lovingly. Try it gentle, but also try to be wild in this posture. Play, let your energy go! Take your partner like an animal (but lovingly!!). Now for sure, your mind will kick in (you ‘may’ not). That’s okay but still, enjoy the play. Play with your partner. Enjoy each other’s company.
Stay conscious and loving
Don’t just have sex, practice tantra yoga, don’t cross the line
STOP and feel
We advise you to -once in a while- stop all the movements, to close your eyes and feel your body. Feel what is there. Feel your energy, feel your energy level. Whatever there is, it’s okay. Nothing has to change, there’s no good or bad. Please have no expectations or judgment. Just feel your body and enjoy. Be very present, totally aware. If there are sensations that are not so pleasant, do the same, but use your love to embrace the pain or discomfort. It’s okay, you are perfect, just the way you are.
Don’t listen to your critical (mostly negative) mind. If limiting beliefs come up, reframe them. If needed, talk about them with your partner. See the article about Sharing.
Thank each other
Tantra, tantra yoga, is not ‘business as usual’. It’s fun, ánd it can be super confronting at times. It is a learning experience that will change you, change your energy system. And this is thanks to your partner. This is because you both have the courage to be open and vulnerable. So whatever happens, thank each other afterward. Do it fully devoted with a bowing down. Honor each other.
Tantra Yoga – merging female and male energy
The whole purpose of tantra is to become whole again, to become One again. Duality seizes to exist and unity is there again. Duality in human form is set by the male and feminine energy poles. Tantra is all about merging these energies into Oneness. In fact, tantra says that those two were never divided, only nón-duality is real. To keep it practical, we say that Love (female) and Consciousness (male) are merged in tantra. This is the holy marriage between man and women.
Male energy penetrates
You can spice up tantra yoga by playing with male and female energies. Male energy penetrates. So men ‘penetrate’ not only physical but also energetically. The juicy thing is that women can also penetrate! Both men and women have male energy. So if a woman focuses on her male energy she can also penetrate her partner (man or women). Image (try) what this would be in the missionary position.
Feminine energy embraces
So if male energy penetrates, what does female energy do? Well, what does a yoni (vagina) do? A yoni embraces the lingam (penis). So energetically the female energy also embraces. And again in both men and women, there is female energy. So if a man focuses on his female energy he can embrace his partner (man or woman). Image (try) what this would be in the missionary position. See also the expert practices.
Tantra Yoga Expert practices
Move from one position to another
When you both are totally relaxed with tantra yoga and the energy levels (arousal) that come with it, you are ready to perform all the Kamasutra positions and moves. Some of them are quite challenging by themselves! Another challenge is to move from one position to another without losing physical contact of the genitals. You can also try this with physical penetration.
Role play – change the roles
What is really fun with tantra yoga is changing the gender roles. Man are used to “fuck”, but can you enjoy being fucked? Change the roles. Be passive for a change. And woman… learn how to fuck! Always conscious and lovingly of course, but be tender, be wild, be ‘aggressive’ for a change. Fuck like a dog, fuck him (or her) real hard. Go nuts and enjoy.
In every man and woman is a male and a female energy current. Discover your inner man or inner woman. Let its energy be part of your life energy! Explore and enjoy…
Yab Yum position
In tantra, the Shiva-Shakti position is great to merge energy and to relax into togetherness. After playing around we would suggest that you end up in Shiva-Shakti / Yab Yum position. Then… do nothing. Just relax and feel all there is to feel. Merge together and enjoy.
Does tantra resonate with you?
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