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Tantra sex for beginners
What is tantric sex?
Tantra sex for beginners is having sex with love and with consciousness. In tantra sex, you make a deep energetic connection with your partner. It is a special meeting, a journey of discovery in which sex and heart can participate altogether. All of the orgasmic potentials are activated. Uninhibited, cheerful, passionate playing with sexual energy and with each other. Wonderful long (hours) ecstatic togetherness. Transcend your lust and your ego-self: moving from lust to love to devotion. Two bodies that merge into one, that is tantra sex.
For more information see the key article on Tantric sex.
Those interested in tantra sex for beginners can still start today. Below you will find some insights and concrete exercises.
Looking in a different way
Tantric sex invites you to look at sex in a different way than you might be used to. Sex is okay! Sex is allowed! Tantra accepts sex. Sex is natural and belongs to our being human. Sex is not a sin, and guilt and shame are not necessary. After all, we all came out of sex.
In tantric sex, you can’t fail. There is no performance needed, no goal to reach, so no fear of failure anymore. It’s about you both having a good time together. You can enjoy sex and each other! You can also enjoy the fun up front. Enjoy the fun of preparation looking forward to a great “event”. And … make it a big party. Tantra sex is something very special! Conscious enjoying the afterglow is of course also recommended, and very fulfilling.
Tantra sex for beginners
Slow down and relax
One of the first things you learn in tantra sex is to take it slow. Slow down and relax. We are so used to doing a lot of things quickly. There is no rush in tantra sex. Set the tone and take also a little time to get away from the everyday events and from what wanders around in your mind (the crazy world of thoughts). Do a relaxation meditation together or a ‘5-minute check-in’.
This is a great way to let go of your daily (working day) issues and let your partner know how you are. A nice way to enjoy the moment and become present. It relaxes your mind a bit. So relax and be together with an open mind.
Love your body
Tantra, tantra sex, is a complete fan of and all for your body. Your body is the temple of your soul, the house where you live and with which you have sex. Love your body, and take good care of your body! Enjoy your body, your sex, and your sexual energy. Ensure good contact with your body and sex, and train your body awareness. Honor and care for your body, perceive your body(parts), relax the stress spots, and create suppleness in your (lower) body.
We are all (very) stiff in our lower body (after a full workday of sitting). Smooth movement activates your sexual energy. Turning with your lower body. Turning rounds, eights, be creative… Make some slow, smooth “fuck” movements that loosen your pelvis. It’s a great exercise to do together and please do it playfully. Make sure your pelvis is always nicely soft, loose and flexible.
Feel the power of your sex
We are not used to breathing deeply and very consciously towards our sex. So … breath full and deep into your gender. Breathe in and make contact, feel your sensual, sexual power. If you simultaneously do the pelvic moves and practice a bit …
Make contact with your own / each other’s gender
Connect with your own and each other’s gender. Breathe deeply down and put one hand on your own sex. Feel what is happening under your hand and feel what is happening in your gender. Then put your other hand on your partner’s sex. This can do this standing, but also sitting down. Put your hand on the gender of your partner and keep your hand still. Feel what you feel and what it does to you.
Make a conscious connection
In tantra sex, you make a deep energetic connection with your partner. Your sex participates, your heart joins. When your heart is closed, tantra sex becomes a mechanical event. Love yourself! Love the other. Open your heart (chakra) and feel what love does to you. Let love touch you and let love take part in your lovemaking.
‘Look lovingly’ is a heart meditation that activates your love energy. You focus first on love and opening your own heart. At a certain moment, you open your eyes and make eye contact. Because your heart is open, you then also automatically make heart contact. Just feel loving, look lovingly, talk lovingly, and make love lovingly.
Go for lovemaking!
Besides “normal” fast sex it is great to see sex as Lovemaking. There is no goal, it is not about rapid discharge, but about charging, lasting longer and make it a big long love game (foreplay). In lovemaking, being together is much more important than doing (a lot). Time, place and doing disappear. What happens is more a response to the moment than the usual (fixed) action plan in sex. So much more is possible, but nothing is known or planned in advance. A nice starting position is for example:
Sitting NAKED in Shiva / Shakti position
Go sit nude in Shiva / Shakti position (see the tantra basics). Make minimal movement, focus on FEELING and tuning in. Of course, you can play a little bit with each other, make a little excitement, feel your arousal. Let the love game come into being. If the Shiva / Shakti position is too strenuous, try spooning.
Tantra sex for beginners
Enjoy the polarity
Tantra sex has everything to do with polarity, with the attraction between male and female. The attraction between the male energy (in the manly male / manly female) and the feminine energy (in the feminine male / feminine female). This is true in both straight and gay relationships. Enjoy your man- and womanhood, create maximum polarity. Only a few people are sexual neutral, most couples are plus and minus. So … empower your partner in his/her natural strength (M/F), for example by admiring him/her as a man/woman. Acknowledge and empower him/her in his/her sexual essence. For example by inviting him/her to show themselves fully as the sensual, sexual, attractive man/woman he or she is. Let it be a smashing encounter …
I love you, you’re such a wonderful, beautiful, sensual, desirable, …, …, …, etcetera. I think you are a WoW woman! Tell it with a KISS or a Namasté. Caress each other’s (naked) body from head to toe and tell your story. Tell it your way, but tell her, tell him. I think you are fantastic and this is why: … And of course, switch roles too.
Enjoy the ecstasy of your Senses
Tantra sex is all for the body and for using and enjoying your senses. Nothing ascetic, nothing to suppress, but making optimal use of your senses. Enjoy and use/activate your senses! Forget about everything you have ever experienced. Forget about everything you know about sex. Now everything is new. Become super sensitive and perceive directly, so without memory (recollection of the way it was a previous time). Once again, be wonderfully uninhibited and unspoiled, as you were a child/adolescent, but now with consciousness. Enjoy a lovely kiss (in the neck), a melting hug or a quiet intense energetic touch.
Awakening of the Senses
There is so much to tell about the Awakening of the Senses. From a session with feathers, silk cloths, blindfold, and other temptations, to a real tantra massage. Find your own way in this infinite world. Be creative and take your time.
Learn to flow/relax in sexual energy
Tantra sex is about sexual energy, which can flow freely. It’s about blockages that are being cleaned up and (sexual) energy that is activated. The body is charged (instead of discharged) and at the same time, you remain very relaxed. There are also fun games to play. As you can physically play the penetration game, you can also do that energetically. An energetic game of penetrating and embracing. Male (sexual) energy penetrates, feminine (sexual) energy, embraces. You can also let the sexual energy flow up and down through your bodies, let it wave back and forth between you.
However, start by consciously observing and playing with your State of Excitement (SoE).
Your State of Excitement (SoE) varies from zero (totally not excited) to 10 (orgasm). If you consciously make love you are always aware of your SoE. You don’t completely disappear in sex, but you always remain aware of what is happening. Looking at your own lovemaking as it were. You are always aware of your SoE and you can play with it. If your SoE becomes too high, close to the ‘point of no return’, then you use the SoE tools. So do/move less, watch your breath (slow down) and bring your focus to your heart. Then experience how your SoE becomes less/lower. And then you go on again, you create some excitement again. An endless sexual energy game.
Tantra sex for beginners
There is much more!
So far some tantra sex exercises to start with. Of course, there is more. Scan the articles on the website. There are also our online courses. These are full of insights, demos, exercises, and guided meditations.
SoE tools: regulating your State of Excitement (SoE)
Tantra sex for beginners. A step by step explanation and structure of conscious loving sex. With insights, demos, exercises, and many couples-meditations.
A course to become a multi-orgasmic man (woman). You cannot climb Mount Everest just like that, you have to practice. So we will take you on an excursion. We train you, bring you to the top. You have to “do it”, we explain to you how. You can do this training on your own, but there are also many (optional) special “partner” exercises.
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