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Tantra massage techniques

Tantra massage techniques is part of a series of 4 articles on tantra massage:

  1. What is tantric massage: a detailed explanation of tantric massage.
  2. The basics of tantric massage: an explanation of the more practical aspects.
  3. 10 important tantra massage tips: 10 important massage insights/rules to know.
  4. Tantra massage techniques: an explanation of tantra massage techniques (this article).

Tantra massage: 5% technique, 95% intuition

What is tantric massage?

A tantric massage is a loving touch full of attention and presence, without a standard form and predetermined result. Tantra massage is given from the heart. In a tantric massage, the whole body participates and erogenous zones can also be touched. Of course, always with respect for (mutual) boundaries. Tantra massage is an energetic massage in which sexual energy also gets attention. A tantra massage takes place on the basis of equality and establishes an intimate connection between massage giver and receiver. Mentally, physically, at heart level and sometimes even at the depths of heart and soul. The purpose of a tantric massage is to “bring” the receiver in (the direction of) a natural, ecstatic state of being. The effect is often a wonderful physical, mental well-being. Usually, the receiver is very relaxed, wonderfully flowing and ending up well in the heart, and in higher spheres.

The basics of tantric massage

Read in advance The basics of tantric massage especially if you are not so familiar with tantra massage. Anyway, always pay attention to a good preparation. A special place, made into a beautiful tantra temple, is absolutely necessary: so first make a nice, warm place for your massage. Bring many large cloths and delicious warm oil (if you massage the naked body). Always start with a Namasté or some other opening ritual to really “see” each other. To connect with each other.

Characteristics of tantric massage

No tantric massage will be the same. Yet there is a – limited – number of “rules”.

  • It’s all about the intention, the connection: loving touch from the heart.
  • Tantra massage has no purpose, does not aim for a result. The direction is always towards a natural, ecstatic state of Being.
  • In principle, the whole body can be touched. Sexual energy participates.
  • Put simply, the intended effect of tantra massage is to release all energy, prana, and let the body (the energy bodies) flow.

Read also What is tantric massage to understand what a tantric massage is NOT.

Be ready

living with an open heartAlthough this article is about tantra massage techniques, we at first want to make it very clear, that the techniques are by far less important. The major point is that a tantric massage is a loving massage, given and received from and in the heart. Therefore it is of major importance that you are able to be present with an open heart.

e-Course Intimacy starts with YOU!When you feel that you, of your partner, can’t be there with a fully opened heart, the first thing to do is (parts of) our course “Living with an Open Heart”.

And in case one of you feel any intimacy or sexuality issues, do our course “Intimacy starts with you”.




Tantra massage techniques

Below you will find a number of tantric massage techniques. Of course, there are more than there are mentioned here. ‘Tantric’ does not mean that they are only used in tantra. The opposite is true, often you can use techniques from other forms of massage (which you know) because the intention with which you use them is decisive for the result. Also, remember that the “technique” does not matter. Tantra massage is 5% technique and 95% intuition, feeling for what is needed. The most important two techniques are:

  • Loving touch from the heart.
  • Attention and presence.


A good preparation sets the tone for the massage. Also, read The basics of tantric massage. The most important preparation technique is making agreements.

Set boundaries

Make clear agreements about mental and physical boundaries. What is possible, allowed, and what can / can’t (be touched). This is, among others, about limits, the level of interaction, body to body massage, any wishes of the receiver, the focus of the massage etc.

Opening ritual

Tantra doesn’t know a beginning or an end, it knows only the now. Yet it is nice to make a distinct start. Start with an opening ritual, including the greeting of the massage temple (sacred space) and the greeting of each other. For example in the form of a Namasté: with that, you say that you see and confirm the divine in your massage partner.

Tuning in/from the heart

Connect with your own heart: do together, but individually, a short (2-3 minutes) heart meditation. Then invite the receiver to lie down. Now make a physical connection with the receiver, by placing one hand on the heart (usually at the back side). Tune in from heart to heart for about one minute. Then visualize, focus, and let come in what is needed. What can you do for the receiver? What does he/she need?

Connect with the whole body

Start with gentle caressing the whole body with long strokes. The message is: hello, welcome, I see you, you can be there, just the way you are. This is about accepting the receiver, all parts of his / her body. You can at the same time add nice warm (neutral) oil.

Relaxing the body

A relaxed body is essential. Long strokes are helpful to relax the body. Calmly, in a relaxed and loving way adding the oil helps. Start the massage with the back. Use rubbing, kneading or tapping to help relax the back and neck muscles and other tense areas.

Pay attention to the breath of the receiver

Maybe an unknown technique, but breathing quietly and relaxed is (for both) of great importance. Receivers sometimes stop breathing when stress arises or at a trigger moment, whether it is a great moment or a painful one. When you notice this, invite the receiver to continue breathing calm and relaxed. Also, watch your own breath.

Tantra massage techniques

Activate heart chakra energy

Regularly make contact with the heart chakra. For a start by putting your hand on it. Breathe from your own heart, and make contact with the heart of the receiver. Then you can gently turn rounds with your fingers around the heart. At the front side, you can also gently rub with your fingers, or the sides of your hands, from the middle of the chest outward, against to the breasts. Regularly put your hand(s) on the heart, make heart contact!

Attention to hard and/or cold spots

While making the long strokes over the body, you may notice hard, tensed (stress) spots. For example at the shoulders and neck. Never ignore them. Also cold spots, for example, a cold belly (emotions), deserve your attention. The same applies to painful spots. These are all potential signals who direct to what the receiver needs.

Activate sex chakra – sacrum

Sexual energy can be activated in many ways. A tantric way to activate sexual energy is by massaging the sex chakra (and the sex) through a firm touch or spin. On the back, you can massage the sacrum and rub it around until it becomes literally very hot under your hand. You can repeat this for ‘plateau-ing’. (See later.)

Connect sex and heart

The energetic connection between sex and heart is usually damaged or limited, by our life experiences, including those in the (pre-) adolescent phase. Read more in the article What is tantric massage. Practically, this means that you should really pay attention to the energy flow from sex to heart and vice versa. Bringing sexual energy up to the heart restores the connection, especially in men). Also, bringing heart energy down to the sex restores this connection, especially in women.

  • Rub or stroke very slowly, but with some “pressure”, with one or both hands together, energy from sex to heart or vice versa. Press, move the energy along the spine.
  • With both hands, dynamically move beside the spine, both side up and down at the same time (one hand up, one hand down).

Tantra massage techniques

Discover erogenous zones

There are many erogenous spots to be found in/on a human body. Discover what the receiver likes and excites. In addition to the more familiar parts (sex/breasts), think of the ankles, knees, knee cavities, elbows, armpits, the sides of the body, the ears and the neck.

Body to body massage

A nice technique in tantra massage is the body to body massage. Be creative … You can massage the upper body with your forearms. Using your long hair can also be wonderful. But also a subtle touch of the breasts or lingam (a tantric word for penis) can be very exciting. Of course always with respect and within the agreed limits. Never can the giver impose his own sexuality.

Use your senses

A variant besides the body to body massage is the use of the senses. ‘Awakening of the Senses’ can be part of a tantric massage. What is important, is the energetic effect. Blowing your warm breath over the spine or making (pleasure) sounds can cause a lot of excitement.

Soft versus dynamic

Tantra massage alternates between dynamic, energizing massage and quiet, gentle caresses. Sometimes there is no movement at all. especially during integration moments. See and feel what the receiver likes.

Spreading energy – integration

We already told you about the importance of a connection between sex and heart. Energy can be spread throughout the body. From the heart to the shoulders and arms. From the sex and lower body to the legs. Long strokes from head to toe: the upward (liberating) flow and the descending (manifesting) flow. Sometimes with a subtle, caressing touch, sometimes with firm, dynamic, long strokes.

Tantra massage techniques

Opening the body

A closed body is tensed. Usually, the body talk is very clear: arms over each other or tight against the body. The legs tense and closed. The chest is tense and inaccessible. So, always start by opening the heart region (on the back). Open the heart, soften it. Stroke from the middle outwards. Massage from the neck to the shoulders. Make space there: “pull the shoulders apart”. In a head massage, you can let the head rest very gently in your hands, and then carefully pull the torso upwards (make the neck long, relax the shoulders).

Invitation to spread the arms/legs

You massage the arms so that it invites to spread them. Eventually, they often lie open, up along the head. You can massage the legs/thighs from the inside out. Without forcing, the receiver – if there is opening – will spread the legs. Especially for women (lying on their back) this is a very vulnerable position. So … never force it. Be full of devotion, see the divine in the other.

Open the Anus / Yoni

In addition to the heart, especially the anus and the Yoni (tantric word for vagina) are special places where a lot of tension, pain, and energy is stored. Respect the agreed limits ánd the process in which someone is now. Be very aware of the necessary sequence. If the heart is not really open, if the body is not open, never do a Yoni massage or anus/prostate massage. Respect the integrity of the body !!!

Yoni or Lingam massage

A massage that is only aimed at the Yoni or Lingam (tantric word for penis) is not a tantra massage. The heart, the whole body, should be involved and that is an essential requirement. But because there is a lot of frozen or inactive (sexual) energy stored in these places, it cán be an important part of the massage. We advise doing this type of massage (with a lot of focus on the sex) only after a number of massage sessions. Moving, extending, boundaries usually involves a number of (small) steps. Most of us are so conditioned (unfree) and/or traumatized, that to open it is very difficult. However… this is nót a problem, there is nothing that needs to be ‘fixed’. Love and healing always know their own timing and ways.

Integration moments

There can be a lot of energy during and after a tantric massage. The entire energy system is being polished. Blockages are touched. Pain points are triggered. Energy (prana) flows, and love does its work. Both body and mind have to get used to relaxation combined with much these higher energy levels. There are times when it’s enough. Nothing can be added anymore. Body and mind even can get resisting, more or less. These are moments for integration. No more dynamic touch, but soft, caressing, nurturing touch. Often there is even nothing to do, except to remain completely present… This is wonderfully beneficial. After a while (or not) it is perhaps time to make some (sexual) energy again. Just feel what you have to do. There are many possibilities, be creative, be intuitive.

Tantra massage techniques


Activating & spreading – rest & integration – activating & spreading … This way you can -energetically- reach higher and higher plateaus, becoming more and more orgasmic. multi orgasmicIn our course How to become multi-orgasmic, we make an analogy with mountaineering. You go from the base camp to camp 1, then to camp 2, camp 3 and finally you reach the top. There are always acclimatization phases. In your massage: integration phases. Don’t try to reach the top at once (in one session). Feel what is possible. Every person has his own possibilities and limitations from his/her experiences.

Surrender – release control

Surrender is important during the massage. Who – as a receiver – is still giving instructions, will never experience a body orgasm. A head massage, and the safe/quiet lifting and moving of the head can initiate surrender. Also, let the arms hang loose and move/rock them gently into relaxation. The same with the legs. Check the jaws of the receiver. In surrender, the jaws will be completely relaxed and the mouth will fall open.

Let the receiver be

A tantra massage is an intense experience. Connection, being together, is important. However, notice that the experience of the receiver is different from that of the massage giver. The receiver may be completely in higher spheres. Alert and conscious, but often no longer aware of time and place. Maybe one with the ALL. Let the receiver fully enjoy this gift. Cover him/her at the end of the massage and leave him/her be. No more touching, but you are totally present. As a giver, enjoy this moment too.

Massage variant: awakening of the senses massage

The best-known tantra massage, “Awakening of the Senses”, is actually no tantric massage at all. Here tantra is used as a way to put the sensory “enjoy” aspect in the first place. It is nice (and can also bring some people into ecstasy) to activate and stimulate the senses extensively. Feathers, clothes, sounds, tastings, smells etc. A delicious palette of indulgence. As far as we are concerned: just fine!!! But still, it is something different than tantric massage…

What is tantric massage?

Read more

This article in part of a series of 4 about tantra massage:

  1. What is tantric massage: a detailed explanation of tantric massage.
  2. The basics of tantric massage: an explanation of the more practical aspects.
  3. 10 important tantra massage tips: 10 important massage insights/rules to know.
  4. Tantra massage techniques: an explanation of tantra massage techniques (this article).

Our support

You can get a tantric massage from a “professional” tantra masseur. But after reading these articles you may already have gained a lot of backgrounds, tips, and techniques to get started yourself. Touch, massage, intimacy … it is so important for everyone and certainly in your relationship.
And who doesn’t want to have a great relationship, and to explore all kinds of things to deepen it? Then do our course ‘”Deepen your relationship” nów,


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Tantra massage techniques: learn tantra massage.
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Hi, my name is Solana. Tantra is important for me, because it makes my life so beautiful. I learned to live my life with an open heart. Sharing love make the world a better place ❤ I enjoy life! Tantra is in my life for more than 20 years now. Satori and I fully enjoy it. We gave tantric workshops for many years. Now we share our love ánd wisdom in our online tantra websites (ENG/NL). See or .nl

One thought on “Tantra massage techniques: learn tantra massage.

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    31 August 2019 at 15:15

    Please leave a comment or like this post.
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