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What makes a tantric relationship different? We are not saying that a normal relationship cannot be tantric. I mean… what’s in the name? A lot of people have a great relationship which they consider “normal”. So, please don’t take the title to rigid. I am merely trying to point out some major differences.
What makes a tantric relationship different?
1. Growing in Love and Consciousness together
Tantra is a spiritual path whereon practitioners want to (un)learn and grow. And this means growing in consciousness. Bringing more and more consciousness into the relationship. Awareness of the triggers that partners pop of and the (painful) processes that they start. Tantric partners take responsibility for thoughts, feelings, actions that may arise. It also means growing in Love. Less projecting on, judging and/or attacking the partner. The quality of conversation and actions are measured by there lovingness.
2. Balanced sexual relationship
A tantric relationship is a relationship based on the sexual attraction of the partners. Partners, however, are totally equal. A tantric relationship isn’t based on dependency where couples complete and need each other. No, tantric partners are 100% capable of dealing with life themselves, they are fully independent. It’s, however, more than two friends who live there independent lives. Within a tantric partnership, there is a lively and strong sexual (male/female energy) attraction.
3. Plenty of quality time
Tantric partners have more quality time together. A time which is spent in a very conscious manner. It’s time where normal activities stop. The focus is on the meeting and the intimate connection between partners. This could be couples meditation, it can be a 5-minute check-in or an inquiry. Important is that a very special, divine setting and atmosphere is created. Tantric partners see and acknowledge each other as divine creators.
4. Open attitude and honesty
In a tantric partnership, there is no need to hide anything. Partners are invited to be open minding, bodily open and especially relating with an open heart. There is no/little judgment so existing conditioning. Arising fear can be consciously handled with love and affection. This can, of course, be challenging from time to time. We are not educated or used to be open and honest. Tantric couples invite and support each other in this self-search and personal growth. Take for instance the practice of sharing.
5. Enjoying tantric sex
Tantric relationships have a high level of sexual attraction and circling sexual energy. In sex, there is no shame or guilt. Sex is becoming more conscious when the tantric relationship grows. This has a great impact on what is important in bed. The focus on fast orgasm is no longer critical. Sex becomes more and more lovemaking (lasting much longer). For more information read the key article Tantric sex explained.
6. Deepening intimacy – merging into oneness
We are all looking for connection when in a relationship. Tantric partners are looking for intimacy and also for deepening the intimacy that is in it. In a tantric relationship, partners help each other to merge into oneness. First by melting with the partner, but the ultimate goal is to be “whole” again. Since we all have a male (Shiva) and feminine (Shakti) side, tantric union means that this duality stops to exist.
7. From pleasure to happiness and bliss
Growing in Love and Consciousness leads to a state of being that is completely relaxed and energetic, whatever happens. Happiness and bliss that goes far beyond pleasure. The ego is always searching for pleasure (giving also suffering). Tantra is all for pleasure and indulgence BUT with love and awareness. Tantra is a very bodily approach that cherishes the senses, wants you to boost your sexual/life energy and favors feeling over thinking. You can read more about the 6 important Tantra Themes.
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