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Love is a good feeling
Love is a good feeling. There are many different kinds of love but in essence… Love is a good feeling. Maybe that’s why there are so many love-songs: to give way to it or to create this good feeling. Love must be a deep human longing. To love, to be loved, to be one with someone else. We all know love… We all want love.
Love is a mystery
Love is a good feeling. Pure love is a feeling of coming home of being (home). Pure love gives you a deep, warm, overwhelming, blissful feeling. It’s also an unknown (dangerous) territory. When you are struck by love you can’t think anymore, you don’t know (it/anything) anymore… Love makes blind and that’s what happens. It’s a bit scary to lose oneself. You are left with a no mind, you’re a no-body, just a being. You are Love…
“You’ve got this strange effect on me, and I like it”
Different kinds of Love
There are so many different kinds of love. I used to have this crazy idea (prejudice) about “real” love, but writing this article dropped that completely (well not 100% I must admit). Love is a good feeling and whatever causes that… may be called love. To name a few:
- Love as a mental attraction.
- “You complete me” love.
- Compassionate love.
- Lust for Love – Hot love.
- Love as an overflowing.
- Puppy love.
- Compelling need for love.
Love is all around and touches everything…
Let me show you what I mean…
Love as a preference
I love my dog, I love my car, I love skiing. Some “things” or “actions” you love, others you don’t. Love then is merely an expression of preference. It’s more a mental like or dislike. It has emotional value but still, it’s nothing more than a personal preference. Sometimes this kind of love is also a substitute for human love. Some men love there car more than their wife. Elderly people can love their dog/cat like a soulmate.
Love as a mental attraction
When people come together they are attracted to each other through actions and similar thoughts. You have something in common (on issues important to you), a “match”. You both love to play sports and that creates intimacy. Or you share the same (political/social) ideas and values and that creates a love-bond. You get the feeling you belong (together or in the group). There is a strong mental match between two or more people that gives a good feeling, and that: we call love. I love you because we are so alike. Yes, I feel so good, so at ease, so at home around you. I love you. Surely this kind of love is very conditional. If the match is no more or ideas reverse, love turns into dislike/hate.
“You complete me” love
This famous quote out of the movie Titanic is a kind of love that is very common. Lovers are being together because they somehow complete each other. Not necessarily a dependency but surely a relationship that gives a good feeling. Male and feminine qualities and day to day activities are divided between the two. Together they act and feel as one. They love each other because they complete each other.
In essence, this is the same as mental love, but I mention it separately because it’s a deep human conditioning. I love you for what you are is focused on the outer qualities of the other. If you say the right words, if you look the right way, if you do the things I like. IF… THEN I love you. This is the way we are programmed by our caretakers when we were young. This is the way we handle and express love.
Possessiveness is also a major factor in love. We project and think that our lover is responsible for the way we feel. We project the cause of our love on the other. Surely we (our ego) want to hold on to that, so we hold on to our lover. We mostly think that our lover “belongs” to us. That the love relationship is exclusive. And when it turns out to be different (or we think so), jealousy is easy triggered. How can he/she love someone else?
Compelling need for love
Loverboys exploit the compelling need for love. Loverboys initially give someone exactly what (mostly) she wants. You then are “seen”, respected, loved probably for the first time in your life. Your needs are being acknowledged. You feel worthy again. You fall in love with your boy and you think that he loves you too.
In the East, it is still common to have arranged marriages. Religious, social, economic factors are the determining “love” factors. The basis for potential love is what I would call the “match” between the couple. Of course there is a lot to say against this practice, but on the other hand, history shows that many couples grew “into love” over time (because of the match).
Love as a trade-off
What we call love is often based on exchange. We need something and we offer our love (or something else) in return for it. Our love is “motived”. We want protection, nourishment, comfort, attention, sex… In this kind of love, there is always an underlying motivation. It’s simply a way of bargaining and love is subject of negotiation. Love has its price. Possessiveness and relational (co)dependency are part of this kind of love.
Mental love is in the head, physical love is with the body. We love to touch, we love being touched. We hug, we like to be physically together. Love is expressed through the body and through touch. Lovers touch and enjoy the good feeling that it gives them. Surely in the beginning of a lovers relationship, there is a lot of bodily contact. It’s a deep human need to be touched and thereby loved.
Bubbling love is really a bodily affair. It is felt in the heart, but also in the emotional sector: bubbles in the belly. Life is good and full of positive expectation. This has everything to do with the thought of … or encounter with the lover. Full emotional power is released and energy is bubbling all over. The sun is shining, there is an immense good feeling. I am in love…
Many love songs use words like I love you, baby, I want you, baby, I long for you, I love to have your sex. Love then is actually a sexual attraction projected on the other. It’s lust, it’s lust for love. It’s the kind of love that is driven by hormones and biology. Love is the coverup for sex. But still hot love gives a pretty good feeling. At least before orgasm.
Especially in the movies, you see this kind of love. Couples making love on the beach, dangerous (public) places or making love in such a way that the neighbors are thinking of calling the police for help. Making love as an outburst of energy. Love that absorbs you and let you forget all limitations. This love releases the wild man or woman is us.
Sometimes it happens… When in the presence of another you feel better. You love it, you know it’s good for you and you love the feeling. So you love your partner because he/she has a healing effect on you. The other has “something”, a healing energy and you love the strange effect it has on you. This kind of love gives you emotional peace and balance.
Puppy love is a rear phenomenon. Maybe the best way to describe it is that it is a bypass of the left hemisphere of the mind. In puppy love, the rational mind stops functioning. It seems that the heart (right hemisphere) takes over and is overpowering everything. Love feelings are overwhelming. All is focussed on the positive side of things and the other. But maybe it’s not the heart, but only hormones and other biological factors that are decisive. Fact is that lust and good sex plays a major part in puppy love. The projection factor is high: the white knight/princess is seen in the other.
Matters of the Heart
How can you love someone if you don’t love yourself? If love is a good feeling then self-love is a good feeling when being alone, being with oneself. Love is a warm feeling from the heart. A feeling that comes when connecting to your heart. Your heart gives you peace (of mind) and acceptance of what is. Love for your (critical) mind, (limiting) conditioning and (ongoing) thoughts, love for your (imperfect) body and (unbalanced) emotions. Love for all that you are. You are worthy, a perfect human being. Love as a deep intimate tremendous good feeling. So love for your authentic being, the depth of your soul. Love for who you truly are.
Love as an intimate connection
Sometimes love strikes through the tunnel of intimacy. You meet someone and it feels so good! It’s so easy to come close. It feels good to make conversation, to make eye-contact. Bodily contact seems so natural. Private boundaries (private space) are evaporating quickly. It seems that love-energies merge and it brings a very intimate feeling. Hearts talk to each other, warmth spreads over your whole body. This is love…
Cupido strikes again
More than intimacy. That happens when Cupido strikes again. Love is a good feeling and you feel it alright! Maybe it even hurts a little bit in your chest. Hearts are connecting and that, my friends, is love. Hearts are transmitters/receivers and send out strong electromagnetic signals. When tuned in to the same frequency, hearts do talk to each other without words. This type of lovers you see sitting in silence. Communication, however, is intense. Absorbed with each other, enjoying enormously. Love is a good feeling…
When you are connected to the source of love, e.g. your heart, you look lovingly. In fact everything you do is loving. You look lovingly, you touch lovingly, you act lovingly. Whatever happens, your response is loving. Being that way makes you very happy. Being in the presence of such a person also makes you happy. Love is a good feeling and it starts by giving. A simple loving smile could do miracles.
Rising in love
Transformation of Love
Tantra is growing in love. There’s no right or wrong and having that said… there is a transformation process. Tantra is all about dropping your conditioning and becoming more and more your authentic self. Tantric meditation is broadening your mind, giving it the space to be filled with pure love. Tantra is softening your body and giving it the power to feel and energetically flow. Tantra opens your heart and lets you connect to the ultimate source: Love. Tantra transforms lust (ego) to love (compassion) and love to an event higher love: devotion. In this transformation “I”, “You”, even “We” disappear, and pure Love remains.
Love as an overflowing
Like this, love is like the fragrance of a rose. The heart is connected with the source, overflowing with love and it spreads love all over the place. The love then is like breathing, so relaxed and natural. When people meet such a person, it’s like they encounter a love magnet. The radiance of (the soul of) is so high, he/she is illuminating the room. When love walks by you know it, you notice it. This kind of love is abundant a non-exclusive, unmotivated. It brings a deep intimate feeling to everyone.
Which brings us to universal love. Scientist now say there’s matter or energy. Energy is also called prana and prana to us is Love. Love is formless, un-directed, unmotivated, non-exclusive, abundant. Love embraces everything and everyone because everything and everyone is love. Matter (form) and Love (energy). Connected with yourself, the other, existence…
Love is all over
Love in everything and everyone. The heart of the matter is present in everything: matter and human being. The heart of the matter (love) is present in everything: actions, words, touch, emotions. So whatever is called love is ok. Maybe is not so transformed (higher), but still love is present. And yes potential for transformation is also there. Lust can become Love, Love can become devotion. The tantric principles (techniques) can be applied but the first principle of acceptance is always there. See love the love in everything and anyone. The world is a divine place.
Love is a good feeling, what’s next
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