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Looking for Connection

12 steps towards intimate connection

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In the quest outside…

Looking for connection. Don’t we all have a great longing for connection? Is not everyone looking for connection, for love and appreciation? The answer, of course, is ‘yes’. However, if you are looking for love and appreciation, then that is a quest outside of you. We are looking for love in the outside world, we want appreciation from the outside world. Isn’t that logical? Yes, right, it is. Only, it doesn’t work like that.

… your negative self-image is confirmed

Even if we are surrounded by very loving people (and we are!), then sooner or later the moment comes when we are disappointed. The moment always comes that our need for love and appreciation is not met. That our negative self-image is confirmed. And then the whole ego-structure -that is meant to protect you from pain (and the search for pleasure) – collapses. Then we feel not seen, not loved, not connected and we feel the pain of isolation. At other times it seems like everyone is only busy with themselves. Then we also feel not so connected. Our craving for connection increases. An endless, hopeless, vicious circle.

Better Love yourself

Go inward…

I think the only way to connect is to follow the way inward. Connection with yourself, and through that connection with the other, and connection with existence, with life itself. It all starts with the connection, the love, you have for yourself. Because if you don’t love yourself, who will?

Connect to your heart

Your heart is the center of love. In fact, you áre love. But we are so cut off from our heart. So do some soul searching and heart meditation. Connect with your heart! Focus on your heart and just breathe gently to the center of your chest. Feel this place where you can rest and feel peaceful. A place of self-love, the place from where you connect to the outside world.

Take responsibility

Take responsibility for your thoughts, your feelings, your actions. Be loving. Don’t look for love outside of you, but focus your own love, focus your consciousness, go inward. Connection comes from within.  So be loving to yourself, your thoughts, your feeling, your actions. Be loving. Don’t condemn yourself so much. Love yourself, the rest will automatically follow.

Don’t cut yourself short

Separation is an illusion that arises because we cut ourselves off from who we are. We learned, quite early, that we cannot be who/as we are. And that hurts! That (pain) closes us, isolates us. We hide behind our (safe) masks and then feel disconnected. Drop it! Don’t cut yourself short! What are you afraid of? Learn again to be more and more your authentic self. Dare to be yourself and feel the joy of that.

Let your life energy flow

Because our ego takes over (tries to protect us from pain), we cut ourselves off from our life energy. To be part of society, to belong, we let your life energy be gradually squeezed out of us. (Sexual) energy gets suppressed, the (energy)flow is channeled and energy is reduced to “acceptable” proportions. I say: be friends with your (sexual) life-energy. Stop suppressing life and enjoy the good feeling. A feeling of well-being and connection.


Looking for connection

Live in joy and abundance!

Relax and allow your life energy to grow again. You are on earth for a reason. Imagine your destination, your potential, as a germinating seed that grows bigger and bigger. Let your life force swell by allowing yourself to relax and to allow life. Stop searching, do less. Go for less (social) pressure and (work)stress. Everything is already there. Feel!

Feel that deep, intense vibration of being

Unmask the frills of your ego: the ego always wants things to be different (it is never good enough), always wants to go thére (because thén ….). But life is here and now. Relax, breathe and allow life. When you meet someone else, just let your life energy do the job. For a change, do nóthing, and see what happens. Just be present and séé the other person. Focus on your heart and be open, warmly accessible.

Show yourself and see the other person

What are you afraid of? Look your fears straight in the eye. For once, don’t fight them, but embrace your irritation, fear, guilt or shame. You are as you are. You are perfect, just the way you are. And yes, you might be different tomorrow. Connection with yourself means that everything can be seen. Your ‘good’ sides, your lesser sides. Connect with yourself, with others, is to dare to pose vulnerable. It’s your choice.

looking for connectionBe determined, smart and flexible

Depending on the situation you open, or you close. Sometimes less and sometimes more connected. And yes, you will probably get hurt again. Your intention and heart desires make you learn from your mistakes. That you grow in love and consciousness. Feel the peace of it. Enjoy the harmony, the synchronicity in the connection.

Breathe, and focus on your heart

That connection is there, just as long as you can allow it. And if the crowds in your mind show themselves again … .. Do not fight them, just observe the thoughts without connecting with or holding on to them. Be kind to yourself. Breathe, and focus on your heart and longing. Connect with who you are again.

Open up, become soft, warm, and accessible

Open your eyes and look around you. What do you see? Beautiful people … A beautiful world …


Enjoy it and enjoy the bliss of connection. Bliss is for you!

Live in joy and abundance


Looking for Connection

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The power of convictions
How to find a tantric partner

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Looking for connection, powered Solana and Satori

Looking for connection
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