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Letting go isn’t easy
When you meet your twin flame
Letting go isn’t easy. If you ever met your twin flame and then lost it again, you know this. The euphoria of being together is in great contrast to the pain of being separated now (and in the future). In this article some insights about what could be going on.
At first, it’s awesome
You meet someone and lightning strikes. Or you have known each other for a while and suddenly something beautiful grows. Your heart beats faster … No matter how fast it happened, you now have a great time together. That feels good, that feels great.
The connection touches you deeply. You want more of it. And you want to spend all your (more) time together. You are in love, you love him or her and you really cannot do without your loved one. At the right moment in your life, you have met someone who completely touches you. A click, a match that touches (almost) all levels in you:
- A click on the mental plane; you get along so well; great talks.
- The physical click; you flow !! the intimacy; the sexuality is great.
- The enormous love that awakens in your heart; being together is a party; you merge.
- Your souls are one; it feels so familiar, a kind of coming home; bliss.
Then the pain follows
And then, without hearing a warning, the separation is there. Your twin soul, the man or woman that you love so dearly, disappears from your life. You don’t understand… The pain is intense. The sorrow is great. Perhaps there is also a wave of emerging intense anger. But the desire remains. Partly because of this, the pain is so long and cuts so deeply. The void that has arisen in your life is so big. A void that – it seems – can no longer be filled.
And the worst is… Despite your misery, you cannot let go of him/her. You cannot go on and you cannot go back.
Letting go isn’t easy
What might be happening
Well … Life gives you a tantric message. What that message is, is different for everyone. Maybe you just had bad luck. Or something else is happening. The match that you felt was só real and unique. That feeling might never come back. Although? Is there a chance that history will repeat itself? Who knows! Maybe, because you have been at the source. Our suggestion is that the other person might not be as important as you think. Your experience is real, no doubt about it, but an important part of your euphoric feeling had more to do with yourself than with the other.
A large part of your click was the positive/euphoric gaze that you had: the positive feedback loop that arose between you. Your feelings about your part in that circle: to give compliments, to receive compliments. Your feeling had to do with the energy that you felt flowing in you and between you. The more beautiful the connection, the click, the greater the chance that your feeling was very deep inside yourself. The greater the chance that you felt completely okay, completely 100% accepted.
Feeling of unity
That thought – your interpretation anyway – gave you an enormous sense of unity. You were beyond your ego at that time. At that time, all your defenses were temporarily inactive, you were open and accessible. Close(r) to the source. Of course, your partner also released something specific in you, but that too was a feeling in yóu. You can only see your side of the connection, of the flow. Yóur side of the heart contact.
And that also applies to the pain of the separation. What you see is your projection. What you see is where you are. The mind is extremely selective, the body has a preference, but your heart is unconditional. In the heart, there is also no judgment, only love, and compassion. At the soul level, there is no longer separation, there is a sense of unity.
Do you take care of yourself?
Therefore, the cause of all pain is more in your head than in your heart. If you feel pain, then you are far (further) from your source (Being). What have you done, what makes you miss your loved one so much that it hurts so deep? Maybe you lost yourself in the relationship? Maybe you haven’t taken care of yourself enough?
If you reach out too much to your partner, it will be difficult to stand on your own two feet. You then need the other person for your own balance. And when the other person is gone, you are out of balance. And that obviously doesn’t feel nice. Perhaps you give your happiness away, put it in the hands of the other? Making the other responsible for your happiness? You projected all your desires and all your dreams onto (the life with) the other. (S)he is so perfect, nobody else can bring you happiness anymore.
So, when the other is gone…, if those desired, used patterns are broken, emptiness is created. A gap is created. If you have attached yourself too much to the other / to the relationship / to the patterns, it hurts when everything falls away.
Letting go is not easy, what can you do?
We regularly have two one-liners in our courses:
- Connection with yourself, connection with the other, connection with existence.
- From your head, into your body, to your heart, consciousness.
Connect with your inner core
Our suggestion is to find more connection with your authentic self. First, be happy in connection with yourself. Take responsibility for your own happiness and stop the projection on others. Always go to / in the direction of your heart. Self-acceptance and self-love are so important. In your mind, it is never okay. In your mind, there is only tension and fight. Pain comes from your mind, from that tension.
Letting go isn’t easy
Go to your heart and feel the peace
Go to your heart and feel the peace. Breathe deeply in and out, go to your heart and relax. Find the wavelength of love and see how the pain diminishes and the glass becomes half fúll again. Use your senses to enjoy your life. Feel your body, feel that you are alive, flowing, bustling.
Live in love. Once you have accepted that your life is full of uncertainties, you can live from your heart, instead of fear and uncertainty reduction. Go to your heart and make your love FULL. Fill your heart with love. Instead of wanting to take, being needy, you start giving, you start flowing. Be loving to yourself too. You can be as you are: exactly as you are. So your sadness can also be there. Don’t push it away, also don’t indulge it. Let it be. Embrace your pain, embrace your sorrow with love. Be full of love for yourself and for others.
Also, realize that true love includes an ultimate dedication. If you really love someone, then you grant him or her heaven. Then you can give him or her everything, even if you are not there. True love is the confidence that this may be the best for your ex-partner.
And live in consciousness. Look at your desire (s). Recognize your desires. Find out what is behind your desire. Be open, look around you. There are so many people with whom you can realize your desires. A sister, a friend. Stop projecting, and comparing too: with him/her it was so much nicer, finer, deeper…. Give life a chance. Be aware of what you have in you, and of what others have to offer you and of the richness of life.
And sometimes doing something alone is even better than you think! That you don’t need anyone to feel good, that you are already completely complete. Everything that becomes visible, including the relationship, is then a manifestation of your perfect being.
Insight makes you free!
The great thing about consciousness is that you can let life be as it is. Living in the NOW. Shaping the future from your pure Being, from a clear vision (consciousness). You can cherish the past, your memories. Enjoy all those beautiful ecstatic moments that you had together with your ex-partner. Enjoy the past. And also enjoy the wisdom and insight that it (the pain) has brought you.
PAIN is a signal. If you pick up signals quickly, if you are very alert and respond to the messages that life gives you, then you live in the “Flow”. You can see your happiness in life as the criterion that shows you whether you are doing well.
Also, see these articles
Since the beginning of 2016, we offer online courses.
One of those courses fits in very well with this topic.
Letting go by being in your heart. Letting go by Living with an open Heart.
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