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How to start a tantric relationship

How to start a tantric relationship? Well maybe you can’t do that, maybe a tantric relationship is something that evolves on its own. That said there are many things that you could consider. It all starts with you! If you are on the tantric path you know that its all about you growing into more love and consciousness.

1. Prepare yourself

People who are in a tantric relationship tend to have more consciousness on how they relate. So it is obvious that you yourself create more awareness on what is happening in your life and relationship(s). Walking the fast lane and unconscious projecting your shit on others isn’t that tantric.

Self-awareness and self-discovery

So do some self-discovery. What are your motivations for relating? Are you a beggar for love, trying to get attention/sex/money from your partner? Or are you unconscious acting out all your childhood shit, blaming the world, your partner for all the injustice done to you? Are you ready for a tantric relationship?

Self-love and the intention to grow

You don’t have to be perfect to be in a tantric partnership. You are totally oke, right the way you are. However, your intention should always be on growing in love and consciousness. Simple tantric meditation can help you with that, even if you are an experienced tantric. Please explore your self-love. Do some heart meditation. Awaken your awareness. Do some conscious breathing.

2. Find a partner?

It’s hard to be in a tantric relationship if you don’t have a partner. Nowadays there are many forms of relating so it isn’t necessary that you live together. Finding a tantric partner is all about YOU being available as a tantric partner.

How to find a tantric partner


3. Make some decisions

Tantra as the basis of relating

A tantric relationship can be anything that you want but choosing for tantra has consequences. You can’t both work 80 hours a week, support your three kids and family, be social super active and busy all the time. Tantra asks you to get your priorities straight. Do you want to be rich or happy? Do you want to invest in yourself and your relationship? Then slow down, bring some relaxation into your life. Go for quality time.

Dealing with differences

Whatever relationship you’re in there will always be (big) differences between you and your partner. Tantric relationships are built on openness and honesty. So start your healing process and grow up (expand). Make your conditioning /judgments conscious and stop projecting your shit on your partner. When you are (painfully) triggered, stop for a moment, breathe consciously and do some heart meditation.

4. Start meditating

What applies for starting with tantra also applies to starting with a tantric relationship. Many “meditations” you can do together. See read Tantra for beginners.

How to start a Tantric RelationshipStart with simple meditations

Couples meditation can also start simple. Just really listening to your partner is extremely tantric! Eye-gazing is also great to start. Just sit opposite and look at each other in the (left) eye. You can also check out the couples meditations below. Conscious spooning is also a simple and gorgeous way to start.

Couples meditations for beginners

We have written three articles on couples meditation. Check them out. Start with couples meditation for beginners

5. Do some tantra workshops

We ourself don’t give workshops anymore but we recommend that you do. Start with “White Tantra” however. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with sex, please have great tantric sex, but don’t start in a workshop, start at home. Tantric sex fist steps will give you clues.

6. Let your relationship grow

Growth is key in a tantric partnership. It’s a never-ending story. The depth of relating is infinite. If you think you know it all, think again… Or erase your memory and start over again. Tantra is living in the moment, every moment fresh and brand new again. Your partner today isn’t the partner you knew yesterday. So stay open and lovingly. Be alert on triggers to grow. Your happiness is your measuring rod. If you are happy all the time, whatever happens, maybe then your done (enlightened). Until that time… Enjoy the ride.

In summary

  • Choose for a tantric lifestyle.
  • Prepare yourself, do some soul-searching.
  • Be ready, available for a tantric partnership.
  • Commit together to tantra, a tantric way of relating.
  • Start meditating, start with “simple” things.
  • Enjoy couples meditation.
  • Let your relationship grow.

Back to Tantric Relationships – read all about it

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Satori de Ruijter

Hi, my name is Satori. You could say that I am enjoying life very much. Always looking at the bright side. My passion and lifestyle is tantra. Tantra is in my life for more than 20 years now. My wife and I fully enjoy it. We gave tantric workshops for many years. Now retired, but we have online tantra websites (ENG/NL). See online-tantra.com or .NL

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