This post has already been read 442 times!
More intimacy in your relationship
Whether you want it or not … relationships play an important role in a human life. There are all sorts of relationships: from family relationships through business relations to THE relationship. In this article, we would like to discuss aspects that concern the lover’s relationship. Insights that can help you deepen that relationship. Because to be honest, don’t we all have the desire to merge with that perfect lover? A desire for connection, a desire for deep intimacy? In this article, we’ll keep it simple. We’re not going to tell you that the perfect Lover does not exist. Nor do we say anything about your own inner man/woman. No, We’ll keep it pretty practical. How to deepen your existing relationship. How to get closer to the lover you have …
But first some theory:
4 “Intimacy Keys”: basics, openness, sensitivity, and discovery
In our opinion, there are four aspects which are the keys to deepen your intimacy in relationships. See the picture.
The basics: this is about your (physical / emotional/mental/spiritual) home base, the state in which you are in. Are you ready for a relationship?
The more you are at rest and relaxed, the more balanced, the more “mature”, the better is the starting point to deepening your relationship.
Openness: This key has to do with how accessible you are. The more (and more honest) you show yourself, the deeper you can grow together. Can you reveal your secrets? Share what’s inconvenient to you? And also: the more you are willing to really look (receptive), the more you can see. Can you put aside your beliefs and really see, listen to the other? Can you receive your partner (as he or she truly is)…
Sensitivity: This key is about your emotional sensitivity (EQ). Can you be in close contact with your emotions? Are you able to express your emotions (appropriately)? Can you grasp the more subtle aspects of your being (intuition) and your relationship (connection)? Again, a two-way street. How’s your empathy? If you can tune into the more sophisticated signs of your partner, then the depth of your relationship increases.
Deepening your relationship is actually very simple:
Make sure you find your base (relax); be fully open; be sensitive and keep discovering each other…
Discovery: without discovering, your relationship is dying! If you are willing to continue to meet your partner, continuous growth is possible. Stay curious, see new things all the time. And again: discovering also means growth for you. With the attitude “I‘ve seen it all already” you’re not open for deepening your relationship. Discovery is about the willingness to “see” and the willingness to grow yourself also.
4 “Intimacy Areas”: body, mind, heart and soul
What makes men and women so perfectly (whole) together, is that they (can) complement each other. Within your life, your relationships, there are four areas that can complement each other: body, mind, heart and soul. Your relationship is deepened immediately if you identify all four areas; so pay attention to all of these four areas. Further intensification also occurs if there is a natural balance created between them.
Having a physical, sexual relationship with your beloved is beautiful. Touch, intimacy, sexuality are essential needs of humans and are super relational aspects. Such a physical relationship can deepen endlessly… After all, if you’re open, sensitive and want to discover… !! Being together, moving together. Touching, hugging, kissing, making love together.
The world of experience and thought is also full of mystery. From day one, we tell each other “who” we are, what we experienced, what we think/believe, which dreams we have. Find the similarities, experience the differences. A potentially endless process of discovering each other. From that (open and sensitive) discovery arises deepening of intimacy, budding love. In the mind we make plans and we project our dreams and future life together.
The “mind” is selective, the body has preferences, but the heart is unconditional. If the conditional love of the mind moves to the boundless and unconditional love of the heart, then you’ve arrived in a whole new area. An area in which the inner world (energy) plays a (more) important role than the outer. An energetic area where heart fusion occurs. Where love is no longer exclusive and selective, but abundant and flowing to everyone. Like a flower that spreads its scent, even though no-one is there.
And then there’s an area that is even less easy to describe. The area of the soul. The area of your essence, of immeasurable wisdom. Where there’s relaxation and space, where consciousness connects us all. An energetic field of being, “radiation” and “auras”. Where physical and mental boundaries are completely gone and we feel us merge. A “different” consciousness, where you don’t even know anymore where “you” end and your partner starts. Where you get a collective aura. Where you merge in the ocean of existence. An area in which time, place and form seize to exist.
Yes, yes, fun story, but now practical!
Hopefully, you understood the scope of the above story. And then you understand that the possibilities for deepening your relationship are endless. The most important thing is that you “practice together”, try stuff together. With what? That’s exactly what you can so beautifully decide together. Just let it evolve. Yet a limited number of practical tips for who wants to deepen his relationship. Also, see the article Tantric relationship tips.
Take care of yourself
- Accept yourself! If you do not love yourself, how can you love someone else?
- Take your rest, make sure you’re rested.
- Get your blockages away! Get rid of your irritations (see, among other things, the article on Sharing). Recognize your emotional patterns.
- Acknowledge your needs and desires. Speak out! Go for it! Dare to live, don’t be so fearful … Let your life be guided by your heart desires. Take a risk!
- Watch your focus. Choose for a more inner focus, less focused on outer “objects”.
Take care of your partner
- Accept your partner; Make contact with your heart. Connect yourself with love/compassion.
- Be open and honest; Share with your partner what you feel, don’t project (finger-point), keep it to yourself.
- Look positive, whatever there is !!! Give positive feedback.
- Do something for the other. GIVE! Put aside your bruised ego! Put yourself in his/her situation.
- Listen, be patient, give space, give freedom, help to him/her to fulfill his/her dreams.
Focus on Togetherness
- Provide quality time, put everything else aside, full attention to each other and fully present in the here and now.
- Kill your patterns, your regular routines; Think out of the box; go crazy!!!
- Meditate together, say it with energy, presence, without words, discover “togetherness”!
- Accept the male/female differences (between you); Include your own man-/womanhood.
- Dare to lose yourself; Living for your partner; To adore the existence.
So join us, learn more about tantra!
Check it out – Try one of our e-Courses
Hopefully the above made you a little curious. You want to know how you can bring tantra into your life. Look, therefore, look at the overview of our online products. There must be something that suits you. Start today!
For instance, try the e-Course Deepening your Relationship (s)
OTC, powered by Online Tantra Leren