How to deal with fear

Corona is all over the world. People are very afraid of it. Normal life has almost come to a halt. Is the worry about it justified? I don’t know, time will Kotell, I don’t have an opinion about that. It did, however, let me think about fear and how to deal with it. Why are we so afraid? How can we deal with fear in our lives? As ever, this article is my personal opinion and a chance for personal growth. Again I learned something about myself. Hmm growing in love and consciousness. I love it.

For a quick read, I start with a summary.

How to deal with fear

  • Recognize your fear, feel it, accept it.
  • Step back, be aware, separate facts from stories.
  • Choose trust and love for guidance.
  • Stay grounded, centered. Power up and stay open.
  • Count your blessings.
  • Change your perspective, feel save.
  • Act responsively.
  • Be ready for life (and death).
  • Enjoy your life. Enjoy every moment.

How to deal with fear

What is fear – why is fear ok?

How to deal with fearFear is a basic emotion to protect us. Fear is good. There are dangerous situations that we should take very seriously. Our autonomous system works very hard to protect us. It constantly assesses the situation and if necessary provide the power (adrenaline) to act and save us from real dangers that challenge us. And that is great! Fear is ok!

Why can fear get out of control?

Vivid imagination

The problem arises if we get afraid of “unreal” dangers. If you are afraid of being attacked by a lion in Manhattan, well then for sure your fear is out of control. Our mind makes up a lot of scenarios of bad things that COULD happen. Your house can collapse, the engine of your car can explode, your partner can die in a plane crash. The world can end tomorrow. Of course, anything can happen, but what are the odds? Fear gets out of control if your mind wanders off from the facts. If your mind invents stories, if your imagination gets a hold of you, you lose contact with reality.

Group energy

Humans are easily influenced by other humans. If on the street someone starts shouting and running then chances are that lots of other people will do the same. Maybe they’re right, maybe there’s a real danger, but the thing is that their own assessment of the danger is left out of the equation. They are just following the crowd. If the crowd gets enthusiastic (during a football match), or angry (when a foul is committed), individuals get enthusiastic or angry as well. The same happens with fear, it’s the same with the fear of the Covid 19 virus, rumors and fear spread very quickly.

Morphological influence

Maybe you don’t know this, but we are heavily influenced by our ancestors. If your grandmother lived a dangerous (war/abuse) and therefore a fearful life, chances are that your mother is/was easily frightened as well. And that, in turn, passes on to you! Somehow in your system, the idea has landed that the world is a dangerous place. You yourself didn’t have this experience, but your conditioning is set that way. Your assessment is biased/distorted.


Driven by fear or love?

Human differs from animals through consciousness. We have a choice. We have a choice to overrule our instincts, set aside our lower level (automatic) judgment, and discard fears based solely on historic events/experiences. So we can assess risk factors and let go of upcoming fear. We can (quickly) check the facts and act on that. And we also can incorporate our beliefs and values into our assessments. So you have a choice. You can check if you are driven by fear or by love!

Know your basic conditioning

What are your basic convictions? In the first seven years of our lives, our basic convictions about the world and people are set. Is the world a safe or dangerous place? Are people born “good” or “bad”? Do you see the positive before the negative? Your assessment of situations, the things that happen in the world is heavily influenced by your convictions. The power of your convictions is enormous. So if you are driven by fear if you notice that great fear sneaks in, be 1) aware of your fear, 2) check the facts, 3) check your convictions, 4) act responsively.

- courses in loveChoose to Trust

The opposite of fear is trust. Trust means that you can accept that everything happens for a reason. You maybe can’t see that reason, but that doesn’t matter. Trust relaxes you, trust will balance your fear. Real trust leaves all options open to think, feel, act the way you want. Trust gives you total freedom and will empower your life-energy. Be strong, be loving and then you can face everything that is coming your way. Trust will also strengthen your immune system. Trust will provide you with a safe haven.

Enjoy the power of Love

Trust = Love. Another word for trust is love. Love is an energy that is abundantly around. Love is in the air, as Covid 19 is, but love is nourishing, love is the engine fuel of life. So please always remember that. Breath in love, bring love to your heart, fill your whole body with love. Let love be your protective shield for all the things that might be harmful to you. Please let love also be your guidance in life.


Let Love rule, fear is a bad counselor


Things that help to stay cool

Recognize your fear

Fear sneaks in and can overwhelm you in a split second. That’s ok but use your awareness to recognize it. Maybe it takes some time, maybe you forget. But check it once in a while. Am I acting out of fear? Feel and recognize the fear in your body. It’s good. Then check the facts, assess your truth and respond to that.

Do this guided meditation

In March 2020 I am (was) in Charlotte, North Carolina. Due to the Coronavirus, I was unable to travel to the Netherlands and back. For a moment I was also caught up with fear. Then I did this guided meditation with friends. Pfffff, got me and them very relaxed, loving and full of trust again. Hopefully, it works for you too.

Guided meditation called Immune-19

Stay centered

The world is in turmoil. It’s like a hurricane on the outside but inside you can be calm and determined. So just see that all the commotion is only on the outside. Go in, feel your silence. Go in, feel that you are safe whatever happens. Search and find your center of be-ing. That place where you’re solidly grounded and you feel perfectly balanced. Feel your presence!!! Feel that you are…

And yeah, life is a risk, so don’t do foolish things, act response-able. Know what is really important in your life. Center and choose for love, again and again. Choose for your loved ones. Choose happiness.

Power up

If you are low powered you are more vulnerable to disease. That is true in every situation but it’s now more important than ever. So power-up. Nourish your body, take good care of yourself. Watch your grounding, connect to Mother Earth and feel the power of being. Stay present, feel your presence!!! Boost your life energy. Let every breath you take not only nourish you but also charge you. Whenever you remember it, take a full breath. Make it a power breath! Take in oxygen, take in love, feel the power of love. Be strong, be loving!

Rest, regularity, cleanliness

A rested body is way more resilient against disease. So take your rest. Maybe your work and long hours are critical in this life-threatening situation but even then you need to stay healthy! So take your rest, relax as much as possible. Regularity also helps to keep you fit. Please assist your biological system in staying healthy. And of course, wash your hands, keep your body clean. But don’t overdo it, don’t destroy your natural skin immunity system. Work aligned, use your intuition.

Know: everything passes

Everything is temporary except you be-ing. The form of things changes all the time. Once you were young, unspoiled, fearless. Time is coming that you will be old, needy, dependent on others. The Coronavirus will be history sometime in the future. Life and death, rise and fall, it’s all part of life, so you better accept that. However bad you think it is right now, you are still alive. It WILL pass, you will survive. Trust, be patient.

Open up again

The threat of Corona is the isolation of huge groups of people. Physical contact is dangerous and is to be avoided. However, that doesn’t mean that we cannot connect anymore!!! Basic to the tantric vision is that we can connect energetically. We don’t have to touch to share love, we don’t even have to be together to connect. So keep your energy flowing in your body and keep your heart open for your loved ones. Open your chest. Soften your chest and imagine that your love flows out of it. See the Heart meditation LoveSwing. Practice love, do the LoveSwing.


What to do if you are afraid?

Don’t panic

We all get afraid from time to time. Everybody gets triggered once in a while in old wounds and then fear arises. Situations will trigger you. Rumors will stir you up and make you anxious. We say: feel it! Don’t panic, it’s ok to be afraid. Feel and accept your fear. Check the facts, assess the situation, act appropriately.

Read your body-signs

Your body is a perfect messenger, you only have to read the sign. Real fear is so evident, action follows immediately. Other signals are not so clear, so you have to be present and aware. It’s like avoiding dark places at night because your body and mind say: “hey that’s potentially dangerous”. Feel your body. Listen to your body talking. Then step back, check the facts, assess the situation, act response-able.

Breath & focus on your heart

Fear is a basic emotion located in your belly. Once you know that the reason for your fear isn’t real, once you know that, you can accept it and let it go. Ok life is dangerous, Corona is a high risk, but there is nothing you can do now, so let go and act response-able. Be fully aware of your fear, make a choice (choose for love) and let your fear go. Take a moment to breathe consciously. Breathe into your heart and feel your love. Focus on your heart, open your heart and let love rule. Do the heart meditation The Opening.

Check the facts – do a reality check

Fear is a bad counselor. So check the facts… Separate facts from the stories that your mind makes up. Don’t believe everything that’s on TV or what the rumor flow tells you is true: check the facts. Sometimes you have to do it quickly, sometimes you do have time. Don’t scare yourself with halve or incorrect information. Do a reality check on what you believe is happening.

Trust & assess

TrustAnd sometimes you just don’t know. Sometimes you have to live with uncertainty. And again life IS uncertain… So you have to trust life, you have to trust the universe. You have to trust yourself for doing the right thing. Trust is so important! Let trust be your guidance and not fear. Fear is such a bad counselor. If you’re afraid of losing material stuff, know what is important. Better to be healthy and happy than rich and sick or unhappy. If you’re afraid of losing your health, know that worrying about it won’t help (it makes it worse).

Being in good spirits and a positive attitude does wonders. And yeah, the risk around Corona is almost impossible to determine. Little you can do about that. So what you can do is trust, be strong and loving. What you can do is assess your situation and act responsively. If you are in a risk area, take all the precautions necessary.

Act appropriate

Stay with your truth, and act response-able. Don’t be engulfed by fear. Follow your common sense, let your heart/intuition tell you what’s appropriate. If you’re afraid, don’t isolate yourself. Stay connected to the world. Do the things you have to do and adjust to the situation. Stay aligned with other people / the world.


How to reduce fear

Stick to the facts

I said it before: don’t panic, stay with the facts. Separate facts from stories. The risk of being run over or gunned down in the USA is far greater than the risk of dying of Corona. Of course, this is different if you belong to the risk group. Then the facts are different and your fear is maybe justified. However, no policeman could do its job well if fear is decisive. Trust is needed. Use common sense, leave room for uncertainty and trust upon a good outcome.

Reframe – look positive

Losing your job is not the end of your world. Getting sick doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to die. In every situation here is something good that can be discovered. You only need to see it! Losing your work/home/spouse is terrible, but something great can grow out of that. Know your convictions (thought patterns) and be aware of where they lead you. If it’s down the drain, change your thought patterns. Think positive. See the possibilities. Create options – do some scenario thinking. Refrain from black and white thinking. There’s a lot of potential good coming from Corona.

Share your fear – release

Sharing is good. There’s no shame in being afraid. Talking about it can help you tremendously. Not only is it a great way to get the facts straight, but it’s also a great way to release emotional baggage. You are not the only one that is afraid. Lots of people have the same fears. Fear of getting bankrupt, fear of being alone, fear of dying… There are so many things that you can be afraid of. It helps to know that you are not alone in your fears. You are not alone – you are not crazy. It helps to hear how others deal with the same thing. Unless your fear develops to a phobia sharing it could even solve the problem. Fear is ok, no worries, everybody has them once in a while. If it is becoming a problem, get more help/ask for (professional) help.

Keep on moving: E-motion

Fear is a basic E-motion. In many situations, it’s not possible to fight or flee when there’s fear. So what to do? Where to go? The third option in a fearful situation is to freeze. You don’t react, you don’t go anywhere, you stay in place. What happens then is that your life energy stops moving also. With frozen life-energy life becomes a drag. All feelings are suppressed. Eventually, you don’t feel anything anymore. You’re starting to walk like a zombie.

Fear is maybe not the most wanted emotion to feel, but do you want to be a zombie? Keep on moving, don’t be afraid of your fear. Look your fear straight in the face. Be fully aware of your fear, recognize it, accept it and let it go. Make space to be happy again. Emotion needs to move for the energy behind it to be freed. Let your life energy flow freely. Literally: move, dance, let the flow be in motion.

Feel save

Fear thoughts produce fear feelings. Most emotions are driven by the thoughts you have. So know what you are thinking all the time. Don’t watch CNN, the news all the time, because it’s a ton load of negativity (fear anxiety) you expose yourself to. Discard the rumors! Change your thought patterns – think of something else. Have happy thoughts. Scan and filter your input.

Check to facts… You probably have shelter, fairly healthy living conditions. So you ARE safe! So FEEL safe! In life there are uncertainties but in general, life is safe. You are safe, so why worry? Feel safe, assess whatever happens and act response-able.

Act response-able

Fear is a bad counselor. Fear throws us back in our primitive mind (lower consciousness) where self-interest (the ego) and survival of the fittest predominate. In that state, your actions are “beast-like” and/or automatic ego-centered. If you want that ok, but if you want to be really responsible for your actions, your guidance should come elsewhere. All you have to do is trust yourself. And you can do that! Trust the voice of your heart, listen to your intuition. Just go -again and again- to your heart. Focus on and breathe into your heart. Be aware of your primary reactions and substitute them for loving responses. If you stay in your heart you can be totally response-able.

Being response-able also means that you stay open to the world. You stay open for connection, you align with other people. You don’t do foolish things – you use your common sense and you let every act be a loving act. Response-ability is way different from automatic (ego)reaction. Triggers are always there, your consciousness separates the trigger from your response. You then act lovingly.

Empty your bucket list

What would you do if there wasn’t a tomorrow? Fear is maybe the same as the inability to live to the max. Live to the Maxx – don’t be afraid to live. Live your dreams – create and empty your bucket list. Don’t wait till tomorrow, live NOW. Tell your beloved you love them. Spent time with your friends. Send them your love through the air if you’re in lockdown. WhatsApp them, call them. You don’t know when you’re going to die, but you do know that you can live today. You also know what’s holding you back. Yeah right… Fear. So feel that fear, recognize it, accept it and let it go. Be ready to die and live in the Here and Now. Live!!!! Choose to be happy!

Enjoy your life. Enjoy every moment!


How to deal with fear

  • Recognize your fear, feel it, accept it.
  • Step back, be aware, separate facts from stories.
  • Choose trust and love for guidance.
  • Stay grounded, centered. Power up and stay open.
  • Count your blessings.
  • Change your perspective, feel save.
  • Act responsively.
  • Be ready for life (and death).
  • Enjoy your life. Enjoy every moment.

Suggested reading

The power of convictions

How to take a full Breath

E-book From Fear to Trust

Meditations you can do

living with an open heart

Heart meditation the Opening

Heart meditation LoveSwing

Strengthen your immune system

Relevant courses

Living with an open heart


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Satori de Ruijter

Hi, my name is Satori. You could say that I am enjoying life very much. Always looking at the bright side. My passion and lifestyle is tantra. Tantra is in my life for more than 20 years now. My wife and I fully enjoy it. We gave tantric workshops for many years. Now retired, but we have online tantra websites (ENG/NL). See online-tantra.com or .NL

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