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How to attract a woman – 15 tips that work

–      What you need to do to attract a woman

The way you attract a woman – your dream woman – is simple to love and trust yourself and the universe. Be confident, there’s a match for everyone. You don’t have to Brat Pitt to attract a woman. Okay, some guy seems to be more “equipped” than you maybe, and you do need some preparation. But there is a woman waiting for you out there. You will get “lucky” too. Just be yourself, go for the MATCH and play the attraction game. And when you find your woman, be with her, make her feel good (the way she wants) and take it step by step from there.


How to attract a woman – Just be yourself

Forget all the advice you heard/read so far. Attracting a woman is no trick! It’s not that you should behave in a certain way or become someone else. No, we believe it all has to do with being YOU! The first thing that is so important to know/live out is to be just who you are: just be yourself.

1.   Be authentic

“You”, is the product (combination) of your gens, your social upbringing, your past (lives), your personal experiences, your soul’s potential, your deepest dreams, your hearts desires. You are a unique human being! We invite you to be fully aware of this. Be conscious, fully aware of the uniqueness of your body, mind, and soul. And learn to love that combination. Be loving to yourself. Accept yourself – as you are. Learn to live that combination. Learn to love yourself first.

Drop what’s fake

But you also know… a part of that you is fake. A part of you is only so because you want to belong because you are afraid that the real you is rejected. Play the games, play the roles that are needed in that thing called life, but dare to show more and more the real you. Don’t hide, don’t disappear in your dreams, by realistic. Show the real you whenever you can. Be more authentic and show your presence in the here and now.

2.   Feel big/confident

It’s great to be yourself! You are grounded. You are focussed. When you are yourself, you are absolutely self-confident. You know who you are and what your potential is. Connected to the inner core you feel alive and fully energetic. You go for your passion, you explore what your potential is. And you are successful in what you do. You are the man!!!

Claim your space

The world tries to make you small, but no more… You can make your mark, you have the right to claim and/or take your space and have your own place. So do! You claim what yours, without a fight but through the power of your presence. Be great and people will feel and recognize that. You make a difference and the world is not the same without you. Can you feel that!

3.   Feel good – radiate

And you feel good. Maybe not all the time but that’s life. You’re not afraid to show your downers. Generally, however, you feel great! Doing your thing, enjoying life. You’re centered and connected to your heart. Your sexual/love/life energy is flowing and radiates out. Your heart is like a light bowl. You fill the room with your presence. Fill up the room with your love and light. You are ready to connect. You are ready to meet the right woman.

4.   Prepare yourself

Yes, being you is good enough. You don’t have to cover up anything but presenting it wisely is smart. If you want to be with someone, you need to understand the attraction game. Opposite poles attract each other. Man attract woman and vice versa. Play the attraction game a little, it will not kill you. So dress up a little bit, make sure that you smell good. Feel like a man, dress like a man. Make an effort, it will be appreciated.

Feel what fits you

And know who you’re going for. What does your partner to look like? Forget about the normal “checklist”, focus on how (being with) your partner (to be) should feel. What would you talk about? What would you do together in life (work/travel/hobbies/kids?). Are you looking for a woman that fires you up or calms you down? Know what kind of woman you want. Do some soul searching – what is real, what is fake. Then do some investigation. Where do woman like her hangout?

5.   Trust your intuition

Fear is for the weak. Now you go for it. You go for life itself! You go for happiness. So you go places, enjoying life. On this journey, you meet people. People you like, people who interest you. Don’t focus so much on the search for a partner. Just enjoy.

Learn to trust your own feelings

Life will bring you to places, puts you in situations, let you meet people. Sometimes it feels good, sometimes not. Learn to trust your feelings. Learn to trust your body, watch your body signs. When you meet women your body reacts. Sometimes your sexual desire is triggered, sometimes a woman makes you alive and happy. You know/feel when (and why) you are attracted to a woman. Feel it and enjoy it. Breathe! Breathe it in, let it feed you. Let it make you grow bigger even more. Let your loving presence go ballistic.

Be aware of others

See the body talk of others. Be aware of the women/woman that you’re attracted to. Read the signs. You can also feel if the attraction is mutual. If you are not sure, ask your friends what they think. But most important of all: Listen to your gut feeling. Listen to your intuitive wisdom.


How to attract a woman – Then go for the match

6.   Go out there – go places

You won’t meet your dream woman behind the TV. You have to go out! Where to? Well, that totally depends on you. I myself met my partner through an internet dating site. That could work! Go where your match could appear. Could be on the race track, could be in the discotheque. A lot of relationships start at work or at the sports/hobby club/festivals/workshops. Just do your thing and keep your eyes open.

7.   Show yourself

Even when you go places you can be invisible. That doesn’t help! So be present! Let your loving presence radiate wherever you go. Be the one that people notice when entering the room. Confident, energetic, open, available. Don’t hide. Know your place, take your space. Live your passion and let people see it. Tell your story, express yourself. Leave your mark/calling card.


Don’t brag


8.   Play the attraction game

Sexual attraction is key in every love relationship. Woman, however, connect first through the heart. So be sexual but loving. Feel her and your sexual attraction, but stay focussed in your heart. Look lovingly! Be aware of where the primary attraction is (sexual, emotional, mental, heart connection). Be cool. Calm, relaxed, have it (your hormones) under control. Meet women and practice. Experience the energetic attraction patterns that you encounter. Get familiar with yours/it. When you find the right woman, you probably know. Then don’t hesitate, go for her. Take a risk, don’t let fear get to you.

9.   Make eye contact and touch asap

Always make eye-contact first. Don’t stare, be brief but clear. No sneaky peaking. Watch your breathing and relax. Especially if she “hot”. Breath in this delicious female energy and let it merge with your loving presence. Breathe in and grow. Be the man that you are. And then approach her. Don’t worry about your opening sentence. If you have one, fine. When you don’t, improvise. If that doesn’t work just tell her that you don’t have an opening. Whatever you do is fine, but show your interest in her. Keep on breathing and relax. Try to get a conversation going. Being together in silence maybe awkward but also okay.

Relax and find something where you connect

So if you’re talking. Ask open-ended questions and really listen. It’s no problem if you start with small talk. But at some point, you should arrive at something of interest to her (and you). Stay focused in your heart. Send loving energy. Look her in the eye, keep on breathing. Smile and make her smile if you can. Relax and don’t worry. Keep your body lose and a little moving. Keep on breathing. If it feels right, touch her arm or hand. Make some neutral body contact as soon as possible. But always with respect for the woman. Always in alignment and demand free. You just want to connect.

10.   Show your feelings / acknowledge hers

Cool is good, but women want a man able to feel. So show your feelings and emotions. If you are nerves just tell her. If you feel attraction, tell her. Go slow, however. Don’t overdo it. Tell her why you were attracted to her in the first place. Make her a sincere compliment (or two). Do you want to get to know her better? Do you want to meet her again? Fine, show your intentions. Just tell her that you want to meet her again. Show your emotions. Does she make you happy, excited? Tell her, why not?

Make her feel the way she wants

But most important is that you make her feel the way she wants to feel. Does she wants to feel safe and comfortable, make her feel safe and comfortable. Is she emotional, invite her to speak out, tell you what’s up. Listen to her, give no advice, just listen. Does she want to be happy, make her laugh. Is she in for some action, then do something (funny). Find out what she wants and then give it to her.


How to attract a woman – And when it clicks…

11.   Be with her – give your attention

You win some, you lose some. If you don’t have a match, she will soon lose interest in you. If she is still around there must be a match somewhere. So find it. Feel inside what kind of energy is most vivid. It all starts and end with your loving presence. Stay present in the here and now. Stay with her. Give her your FULL attention. Connect to your own heart and from there with her. Listen to what your heart has to say. Go with this flow and you’re always okay. Every meeting is different, I can’t tell what to talk about or do. Just feel what is there and act on it. But do remember, you can’t force things. If there’s no click, no match, you can’t force it on her. Don’t ever beg.


Don’t beg


12.   Make her feel the way she wants

Everybody is looking for happiness. Same with you isn’t it? So do (or don’t) whatever makes you happy. And within this scope, find out what makes her happy. You are looking for a connection, so is she. We’re all looking for connection. Men are more mental than most women, so keep this in mind. Women like to be touched. So even if you’re having a great conversation, don’t forget to touch. Touch her as much as you can. Hold hands, touch her cheek, caress her arm, hold her, hug her, nourish her. And this is not necessarily physical. You can also embrace her with your sex/love energy. Make your presence felt. Feel confident and radiate. Penetrate her with your energy!

13.   Treat her with respect – as a divine creature

Never treat a woman as a lust-object. It’s okay to be horny but control your hormones. Treat your woman with respect. Treat her a divine creature because she is. And make no mistake: women can be horny too, but for most women intimacy comes before sex.

Women love to be loved. This woman loves to be desired by you. So do her the honors, desire her. Make her feel wanted and special. And she is!!! She is a divine creature. She carries so many gifts, it will take a lifetime to understand how many: so be devoted to her. In a true love relationship “you” becomes less important than her. Not because you don’t matter but because you understand her power and wisdom. You understand that together is much more than 1 +1.

14.   Free her from the boredom of daily life

Some woman are looking for a safe place (man) and security. Others are looking for a one night stand. In between, there is a whole range of possibilities. Central in all relationships, however, is the joy of adventure. The joy of getting to know each other. To explore each other’s life story. Share hobby’s or travels. To deepen intimacy, to get physical. Growing in intimacy, sex and lovemaking is an endless adventure. So give your woman new experiences to digest. Show her the wonders of life. Take her out of her comfort zone into new territory. Let her live her dream, let her enjoy, let her laugh. Let your desire overwhelm her. Surprise her.

15.   Take it step by step

Relationships grow. They always start when you both like being with each other. Talking, touching, kissing, making love, whatever. Relationships grow. We can’t predict how yours will grow. Relationships are miracles on their own. There are some guidelines, however. See the article areas of intimacy for starters. Furthermore: taking giant steps is also not advised. Can you imagine how it will feel if you start talking about kids on your first meet? How awkward would it be if you make plans for retirement when you only just met? Sometimes the speed of things can overwhelm you (having sex on the first night out), but most of the time building a relationship takes time. And that’s also the beauty of it. It’s an adventure.


So join us, learn more about tantra and tantric relationships!

Read more

>> Key article: Tantra explained

Key article on Tantric Relationships

>> Ten tantric practices for a fabulous relationship.


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Satori de Ruijter

Hi, my name is Satori. You could say that I am enjoying life very much. Always looking at the bright side. My passion and lifestyle is tantra. Tantra is in my life for more than 20 years now. My wife and I fully enjoy it. We gave tantric workshops for many years. Now retired, but we have online tantra websites (ENG/NL). See online-tantra.com or .NL

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