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Heal your heart

Your heart is the gateway to a happy life. In your heart is the center of your being, it is the seat of love. This article is part of a series of articles about the heart and love.

The series consists of the following articles: 

  1. Love is a good feeling
  2. Sex, love and ecstacy
  3. What is a heart orgasm
  4. Heal your heart – this article

Pains block your heart

(Old) pain ensures that your heart is locked. Everyone experiences that sometimes.

Everybody hurts

ouchh it hurts

We are all hurt in life, in different ways. You might have experienced the loss of a partner. A parent left you, in your daily life or emotionally, and you felt alone. You went through a painful divorce, or your partner died. At school you were bullied, you felt put aside. Perhaps in your work you felt that you were being passed over, or you felt discarded and sidelined. You were not seen if you felt excluded, an outsider.

Rejection, abandonment, someone hurt you… you can be hurt is so many ways. And that creates sometimes huge emotional pain(s), and often heart pain. That can hurt so much.

Avoiding the pain

And that is not something we want to feel. There is a chance that you will close yourself off for that pain by pushing it away. By making a wall, a shield around your heart, which ensures that you do not feel the pain. And you also hope that it protects against future pain. You want to avoid experiencing that pain again. You build a wall around your heart, surround your heart with a sturdy (weapon) shield.

Some parts of pain are so clearly present, you can’t ignore that. You know it is there, and you also feel it violently. But sometimes the pain is deeper, more hidden. Then you think that what happened is over and there is no more pain. Still, on a deep layer, the injury is still there. And the shield around your heart is still active.

No feeling at all

The nasty thing about it is that you cannot only close yourself for the pain, for negative feelings. If you protect your heart against (hurtful) feelings, you close your heart for all real feelings. For pain ánd pleasure, for fear ánd for love. If you have a shield around your heart, chances are that you can no longer feel at all, or only to a certain extent.

In spite of the shield you will not feel better, but actually worse. You may not be aware of it, but it will bother you a lot. You will find that you consciously or unconsciously shut yourself down to allow love into your heart and your life, and that will prevent you from establishing a real connection with others. And you will feel lonely. Or in the worst case, you will not even feel that loneliness anymore… The shield around your heart is so firm, even hard, that you feel nothing at all, except perhaps a vague sense of lack.


How to heal your heart


Healing is something that you cannot dó

There is no trick, no technique. Healing happens, just like everything in life always just happens. That doesn’t mean you can’t do anything. What you can do is: give the pain space, face it. But you can clear the space in which healing can take place. By accepting and allowing the pain. If you have the courage to feel the pain, it can come to the surface. And then it is possible to let it melt, like ice in the sunshine.

Consciousness

All that said, there áre quite some other tantric ways to help you to open your heart and to let down your shields. A very important help is you consciousness. Be aware of your shields. What triggers them. When do you put them on. And notice when you are more open, what helped you to get there.

1.    Recognize your pain

So if you recognize this, experience it… If you feel this lack, that seclusion, that lack of connection … know that it can be done differently. That your life can look so different if you allow yourself to feel. The pain, but also the love, the happiness.

Shield your heartIf you have closed your heart, locked it up, then it is time to do something about it. To remove the shield. And that requires quite some courage from you. The courage to face the pain. But also to let go of the pain, and to heal yourself.

To find out which shield(s) surround your heart, take a look towards the most intimate people in your life (past or present) and notice if there is any fear, anxiety or tension that arises. Notice how you feel when you’re with them, and what kind of shield is protecting you from feeling. Then focus on what the opposite experience would be for you.  For example, if you’re protecting yourself from feeling sadness, then your walls are also blocking you from feeling joy.

If you’re shielding yourself from confrontation or anger, then you’re hiding from feeling empowered and able.  Notice what your pattern is, when it started, who it came from, and what it will take to be free from it.  Don’t judge yourself or this process. Just be aware of what is there. And embrace it/yourself in love.


2.    Intentions and acceptance

Accepting what is happening in your life, looking at possibilities instead of impossibilities, coming into contact with your real heart desires and investigating how you can shape that, and doing so, are important steps in the life of someone who wants to live from the heart.

Become aware of what lives in your heart and what your desires and intentions are. Seek the contact and intimacy of your body and your heart. Loving yourself, that’s what helps a lot. Be aware of your intentions towards love, what your heart desires are. And take steps to follow these desires. But without making them a goal, this is something that hás to happen before you can be happy and loving.

3.    Acknowledge and thank your shields

Lying in bed, focus on an open heart. Communicate directly (inside your mind) with your walls and shields.  Acknowledge how they’ve done such a great job at protecting you, and thank them for keeping you safe from harm in the past.  Tell the shields that they have served their purpose, and that you can now let go!  Let them know you are ready to trust the divine intelligent unconditional love of your heart, which will provide ALL the real protection you need for your heart.  Let these old shields know you deeply desire to be free from them so that you can feel the greatest heart orgasmic experience of your life! Tell these walls that you are completely safe from all people in your past, present and future. Thank them for protecting you and bid them a farewell goodbye.

4.    Take down your shield(s)

remove the shieldAll that said, know that you cannot be happy, nor experience peace, let alone bliss or even a heart orgasm if these shields blocks your heart. You will have to decide to take them away, because carrying it (even though you’re probably extremely used to it) feels like a heavy weight sitting on your chest! It may seem very risky to let down this protective shield, yet it’s even more risky to live your entire life behind this emotional prison.

5.         Be fearless

Fear for fear

In the beginning, it may feel scary to let down your shield. You might feel like you are naked, and that anyone could hurt you easily. When your heart lives behind a wall, you’re the one missing out on the real freedom and joy of life.

If you are afraid of feeling a certain emotion then you are tied up and living in a real prison. Then you have fear for the fear. Then you are afraid of things that may not be realistic at all, that may never happen. Or they do happen, but you turn out to be very capable of dealing with that. Your life does not stop, it is not all as heavy as it seemed. And maybe there is even a great value in what you experience, it teaches you an extremely valuable lesson and that is why it came your way.

Fear exists only in the mind.

What was at one time in the past a needed shield of protection, now has become an emotional prison.

Most people in society have learned to keep their shields up in public and even in private. They live as an ego that feels deeply insecure, so they need to pretend they are strong, resist being vulnerable and emotionally exposed. The ego is constantly afraid of losing control, being crushed, or taken advantage of.

It is quite ironic, yet when it comes to true empowerment in life, it actually takes a stronger person to let go of control and feel something they are afraid of feeling.  Life is filled with paradoxes.  The scary feelings you once had soon become the gateway to experiencing more love. The one thing you were once running from, suddenly becomes that which you are running toward.

In the beginning, it may feel scary to let down your shield. You might feel like you are naked, and that anyone could hurt you easily. When your heart lives behind a wall, you’re the one missing out on the real freedom and joy of life.


“That which is real cannot be threatened. That which is unreal does not exist.”

~ The Course of Miracles ~


So drop your armament. Be open to a full loving life. Keep trusting letting your guard down, allowing for any insecure feelings to arise as each one is temporary and will soon pass.


“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find
all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

~Rumi~


6.    Take responsibility

Healing your pain and your heart is your own responsibility. It never helps to point a finger at something or someone who caused it. The solution is not there. Nobody can heal your pain but you.

But you don’t have to do it all alone

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get any help with that. On the contrary, seeking help is very important. Not to put the solution in the hands of the other person. you have to do it yourself, but you don’t have to do it alone. So look for a friend or a therapist in some cases. Look for help.

When you are in love with someone, in each other’s loving presence or during lovemaking, in many cases your heart will suddenly open spontaneously. The pain will soften and maybe even vanish. For a while, or permanently. Love can heal and open your heart again.

7.         Be aware of your thoughts

Be aware of what thoughts you have. What stories there are about your pain pieces. Ask yourself if those thoughts are objectively true and if they are helpful. Where you hear voices from others talking and what your own heart says. Realize that a lot of pain is created by negative thoughts and beliefs instead of actual facts and experiences. So also use common sense, and certainly your consciousness, to expose such stories and release the pain from them.

8.         Bring your attention to your heart and relax

As often as you can throughout your day, focus your attention upon your heart, let your heart open to feeling unconditional love. Practice relaxing your heart completely and let your body relax with it.

So start by practicing relaxation techniques. As long as there is tension in your mind and in your body, you will not find the space in which your heart can open up. Take the time for yourself. Lie comfortably on a couch or bed. Breathe in gently and let your breath slide down your chest like a warm gulf stream. Softens and warms your chest and so does your heart (chakra). Breathe a little sunshine in your imagination and let your heart warm. Let it get softer, relax. Feel the tension in the rest of your body. Breathe to any stretch that hurts. Breathe in warmth …

Unconditional love feels very similar to receiving eternal light from the sun after a long cold dark winter. The warmth from the sun shines inside you and is never-ending. It keeps on flowing, giving you more and more especially when you cannot accept it. Imagine that inside your heart is the most beautiful flower, that is opening its petals to the sun, receiving the golden rays of sunshine.  Let this warm light into your heart and spread throughout your entire body!

Read more about the power of breathing


How to heal your heart


9.    Be gentle

Be patient with this “unguarding” process. Don’t try to rush yourself. And don’t judge yourself for not going fast enough. Embrace yourself with love, understanding, compassion, and gentleness. And know that the level you’re willing to feel the prison your heart is also leading you to the same level of freedom you’ll attain. It may take some time before you feel any real shift. Continue everyday practicing, letting your shields know they’ve done their job, and that it’s safe to stop protecting your ego. The more you can trust that who you are truly are needs no protection, the faster and easier your walls will come falling.

10.    Loving touch

A way to bring relaxation to your heart, so that it can open, so that the shields can melt, is by caressing your body, your heart. Caress with your attention, your presence, but also

physically, with your fingers, your hands. Lie down comfortably, put on soft music. Make sure you are comfortable, warm and undisturbed. You can be naked or in comfortable clothes. Brush gently on your body. How, where, it doesn’t matter. Slow and soft. Do that for at least 5 minutes or so much longer that feels good. Touch sore or tense places and caress them gently. Then go to the chest, the area of the heart. Gently caressing your heart area in circular movements, getting closer to your heart. Soft and warm, full of attention for what is there you go ever closer to your heart. Then gently lay your hands on your heart. Calm down. Perhaps, if you still feel tension, make very soft rounds, until you feel that relaxation starts. Embrace your heart with all the love that is in you …

11.       Gratitude

One of the most powerful ways to soften the pain and to open your heart is gratitude. Being aware of and bringing focus to the wonderful things that happen in your life creates a feeling of deep gratitude. It is not about overruling or suppressing pain, discomfort or negative feelings. It’s just allowing to know that pain and pleasure are both parts of your life. That living your life means having it both. The feeling of gratitude can be overwhelming and create a major space for love in your heart and in your life. And in this loving space healing can happen.

12.       Heart meditation

Living with an open heart is wonderful. You feel good, you feel loving. Living with an open heart gives you well-being: peace, balance, balance, harmony in your life. You feel in connection with yourself, with others, with the world. When your heart chakra has opened you feel safe, peaceful, joyful, loving, completely at home.

Heart meditation is so amazingly helpful to heal the pain and to open your heart. An open heart does not mean that you only feel joy and happiness. It means that you can feel everything that wants to be felt. And that you can accept all those feelings and that you can live with them. That you can embrace the pain with your loving, healing presence.

There are a large number of ways to open your heart (chakra). In the article “21 benefits of heart meditation” you will find many ways to open your heart chakra, you will already find many. You can also use it in combination, and that way you get countless possibilities.

13.    Living with an Open Heart

living with an open heartI want to bring our course Living with an open heart to your attention. Here, we will discuss this subject in great detail and offer a whole range of exercises, insights and (guided) meditations that will help you to open your heart (again). If you come across old (pain) pieces, we offer you support to heal and let go. Gradually you can open yourself more and more and you will get back to your original state of being, namely that you are Love.

After these practices, eventually, the shields will get in the habit of remaining down. When the heart opens enough where tears of gratitude can swell up inside you anytime during your day, healing is already happening. It takes a true warrior to trust in this heart-opening process, yet the levels of revelation and even happiness you’ll experience are guaranteed to be nothing like anything you’ve ever experienced before!

The greatest gift you can yourself

When your heart is no longer shielded, a truly amazing phenomenon occurs. Maybe there are people you once believed should be avoided. Then they might become a great opportunity to grow. An open heart is a divine gateway to exploring an entirely new world! You will be able to be vulnerable. And then your life can be juicer, richer.

You can reach out and let people in to feel you and see the real you. They can touch you so deeply that your heart becomes overwhelmed with tears of happiness you cannot contain. This all starts by allowing your heart to be more sensitive, open and receptive to the love which is within everything and everyone!  This divine level of love is bigger than anything you have ever dreamed of.

Expand

If you can expand the limitations on love, if you can be in the act of giving and receiving love, you will be great. Otherwise, constantly hiding, protecting yourself from possible pain, you live behind a wall of a great misunderstanding.  Who is it that needs protection anyway?

This is only your ego, an illusion of who you are. What would happen if you let yourself dive through this experience to the other side?

When you let down your shield you can be deeply touched by anything.  A flower, a small tree, a bird on the branch, anything can move you. This is such a richness, such a pleasure, and real happiness!

So grant yourself this gift to heal your heart and live with an open heart. You will gain a profound strength that allows you to enter into the experience of true orgasmic bliss. To be alive!


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Heal your heart
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