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Feel good always feel better

Who wants to feel bad? Well, nobody, I would say!

However, pain and pleasure are part of life: duality is part of life. The mind is the cause of pleasure and you get the pain for free. And of course we try to transcend this duality (our ego/mind), but before that happens, there are also possibilities. One my most important insights, based on the Law Of Attraction, is: however (bad) I feel I can always feel better. I can always make the choice towards Happiness. That is not mandatory of course! I can stay as I am, I am free in my choice. But anyway, even if I choose to do nothing … everything passes.

Help the universe!

You can help the universe a little to feel happy. And you can make life a little more pleasant. There are always steps that can bring you up the emotional V-scale (see the image below). The way down on the left, passed neutral and to the right and up is the path to happiness. A path that will eventually release you from the stranglehold of pain and pleasure. All that is required is to grow in love and consciousness.


Roadmap

Below you can see a simple roadmap to “always feel better”. It’s up to you to actually go through those steps. Sometimes there will be consciously doing, sometimes not. My experience shows that when people feel good, they don’t focus so much on the possibility to feel better. Only in cases of “pain”, we seek a cure. This is unfortunate because when you feel good that’s a great time to practice (and feel even better). The experience you gain can be used for times when it doesn’t run so smooth in your life.

Step 1. Feel

Our sense is neglected in our Western society. By growing in Love and Consciousness you learn to feel again. Gradually the balance will be restored between Thinking, Feeling and Being (body, mind, and soul). So feel more! Feeling is especially something you do with/in your body. You are therefore recommended to use your senses and increase your body awareness. Focus your attention inward. What is happening there? What do you feel there?

Feel good always feel better - emotional V-scale

Step 2. Know how you feel

And thus we have already landed in step 2. What do you feel? How do you feel, anyway? Are you calm or agitated, angry or happy, relaxed or stressed? Knowing how you feel is a matter of growing awareness. Take a pause and regularly ask yourself: how do I feel? The labels don’t matter too much, just get conscious about what/how you feel. And then assess where you are on the emotional V-scale. And the argument is: you can always choose to feel better. On the V-scale you then move from left to right. First, you take steps to feel less bad (and thus better) down to home base, the neutral position. Then you take steps up to feel even better, steps to joy, happiness, bliss…

Step 3. Take responsibility for how you feel

In this step, you are asked to take responsibility for your own life and happiness. This step is a bit daring. But don’t let your happiness depend (on the love or appreciation of) someone else. Others are merely triggers that trigger response patterns in your body and/or in your mind. If you can see this increasingly clearly, you’re also more and more able to detach yourself from your “programmed” trigger-reactions. Then you’re freed from the rollercoasters of your emotions. And then you’ll let go of the pendulum in the dual world. You mood swings are not so vast anymore. And there, in the middle is the “vertical” reality. There, in the middle, you live without judgment, you live happy in the moment.

It’s really quite simple … Events, situations and/or thoughts lead to certain ideas and certain thoughts evoke certain, sometimes physically tangible emotions. See your old thought patterns that make you angry, sad, depressed or unhappy. You are not your thoughts, you are not what you feel! So take responsibility and let go of this identification with your pain body. And … if it doesn’t work right away, don’t worry, nothing has gone wrong, because no matter how bad/worthless you feel, you’ll always will feel better again… .. How fast? That’s up to you!


Feel good always feel better

Step 4. Accept how you feel

The fourth step is perhaps the most difficult of all … To be able to continue, it is necessary to accept “what is” in order to make space for the next moment (something else). It’s senseless to want to avoid certain emotions, let alone to combat those feelings, pushing them away. It doesn’t work anyway and then you get the idea that you have failed (again) which doesn’t make you happier also. Even more senseless it is to deny what you already feel. It is already there, you feel it already! Denying does not make sense! No, it’s better to accept all pleasure and misery completely. You feel bad, you feel good … It’s not a matter of right or wrong. Learn to accept “what is” … By accepting your misery, not fighting with, you will often find that you start to feel a little better already. Fighting against your misery often causes more energy drain than the misery itself.

In the first three steps, you have consciousness on your side. In this step, the (self) Love come into play. Can you look with love to all there is? Can you let the pain be there, not fighting against it but embracing it with love? The embracing with Love part you can learn, just be doing it.

Step 5. Know how you want to feel

Yes, and then it actually becomes easier. If you really accept where you are, there’s no need to put any more energy into it and then you can focus on how you want to feel you. Where your focus goes, energy grows. So stop focussing on your misery, start focussing on your happiness. Think differently … visualize. What do you enjoy intensely? How does that feel? Get moving, maybe even literally, and feel how it feels. Better? Use your creativity. Remember/do/ask something and concentrate on the feeling that goes with it. Create a “wish” list: things that make you enjoy life. And use it when you don’t feel so good. There are so many ways to feel better. Reach inside and let it out, make it self-evident.

Step 6. Take small steps

If you feel worthless (depressed), it is almost impossible to make the switch to happiness. Kids can do that but they are still completely in the moment and without too much (thinking) patterns. Sometimes we can do it also: one moment you’re disappointed, the next moment hopeful (eg when you’re in love). But usually, there’s nothing else to do than to rely on consciousness and having a little patience. It can, of course, go very fast, but reality is often a bit more stubborn.

So take small steps. Start with breaking of the negative spiral of feeling worse, the path to depression. And then take small steps in the opposite direction. Angry (at someone) already feels “better” than severely depressed. Tired (but maybe satisfied) is already “better” than being angry all the time. And then you can always make another small step. First becoming “less bad”, then again even “better”, more positive …

Take how you feel as a yardstick. You’re going in the right direction if you feel a little better. Be very aware of the ever-present internal sentiment barometer. If a thought of something gives you a bad feeling, think of something else. As a witness (consciousness), you know that “a thought is just a thought”, a whim of your mind. But if you do have thoughts, well then choose positive thoughts (the ones that make you feel better). If you always become cranky about something you do, stop doing it or consciously choose to do something else. Also, consider to plan ahead a bit: having fun things on the horizon makes you feel good. Set your intention to sunshine and then set out a route.


Feel good always feel better

Step 7. Always focus on feeling better

Focus, focus, focus on getting the feeling you want. Think or do something that gives you that better feeling. Visualize something that gives you a better feeling (vibration), and imagine that it is already there … Use your intent, your desire, your passion to feel how you want to feel. You know that already, so go inside, into your heart and remind you what it was. Immerse yourself. Feel what you felt then. And visualize how it is when your desire becomes reality. Make it a great movie. Dive into it. Envision it, feel better! Dream about your passion and what they bring you. Whatever your passion is, it doesn’t matter. Dream about it and feel better in the here and now.

There are a lot of ways to feel better. What works for you, you can research. The image gives you some suggestions, and you can also read the article “99 ideas to make you feel better“. The core message of all tips is:

– If you don’t feel good, then change your thoughts! Think different!
– Get moving (flow  + vibration = happiness): E-motion.
– Stay with your truth. Choose for yourself, choose happiness.
– Go to your heart. Go for connection.

Where your focus goes, energy flows

Catch the Vibe … Tune into Happiness.

Feel good always feel better - 99 ideas to make you feel better


Step 8. Keep track

Growing in Love and Consciousness is a guaranteed path to Bliss. On this path, you can experiment a little with your consciousness. By observing what works for you. As long as you live in the duality of pain and pleasure, it is useful to know which patterns bring you to happiness. Lies your solution more on the mental plane through a change of thought? Or are you more of a physical set person, of movement and does physical exertion makes you happy? Perhaps meditation is your way. Deliciously breathing and feel the peace and quiet in your heart. Anyway, always be aware of how it works for you. Once you know what causes your moods, anchor it in your body, in your mind. This makes it possible to develop new patterns. Forget the past; don’t cling to the future, be happy !!! Always choose which direction you go: choose happiness/bliss. And above all, enjoy your successes, enjoy tremendously!

Step 9. Helicopter view

If there are things in your life that structurally obstruct your happiness (eg. your job, your traumas, your relationship, your lifestyle), it is sensible to address these issues first and foremost. What I see many people do is try to feel happy in a hopeless situation. I call this “Re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic”. That isn’t so useful… Since Maslov, we know that there are prerequisites for happiness. Things like a safe environment, health, nutrition, rest, relaxation.

So take steps in this area in exactly the same way as described above, but on a higher level. Do the work that makes you happy. If the past is like a millstone hanging around your neck, do something about it (healing/therapy) and feel the difference. If your relationship is bothering you and a big hindrance to be your happy self, then do something about it. Change your lifestyle if you “know” that in the end, you will not be happy with the current one. Create perspective in your life (intention, heart desire, passions). Use the emotional V-scale as a guideline.


In summary:

  • Feel good, feel always better.
  • Feel and know how you feel.
  • Take responsibility for your own life.
  • Always accept what is now…
  • Then take a next step on the emotional scale-V.
  • What makes you feel better ??
  • Change your thoughts and be aware of what makes you feel better.
  • Do something -or not- and feel what it does to you.
  • Work your way up on the ladder and know where you stand.
  • Listen to your feelings and use it to guide your life.
  • If something feels good / better >> right direction / action.
  • If something feels bad / less >> less right direction / action.
  • Remove the obstacles to happiness (in your life).
  • Create the conditions for happiness!

Are you happy with tantra?

Read more

>> Key article on Conscious Living

>> The Power of Convictions

>> 99 ideas to make you feel better – 99 ways to happiness

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Feel good always feel better – Happiness is a choice – Are you going for it?
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Satori de Ruijter

Hi, my name is Satori. You could say that I am enjoying life very much. Always looking at the bright side. My passion and lifestyle is tantra. Tantra is in my life for more than 20 years now. My wife and I fully enjoy it. We gave tantric workshops for many years. Now retired, but we have online tantra websites (ENG/NL). See online-tantra.com or .NL

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