Couples meditation for beginners – practical exercises
Couples meditation for beginners is a great way to improve your relationship. It’s a great way to reach a whole new level of intimacy and understanding. Please read the article on intimacy first if you want to know more about intimacy. This article is about practical exercises/meditations you can do to deepen the intimacy with your partner.
Part of a series of three on couples meditation
This article is the first in a series of three:
- Couples meditation for beginners (this article).
- Advanced couples meditation for tantric partners.
- Couples meditation for experts.
We start with 5 couples meditations for beginners
We call them beginners meditations because you don’t need any skills or knowledge up front. It’s, of course, nice if you are interested in improving intimacy with your partner. If you’re a little suspicious about meditation well then try them and check if they work. They’re all simple, straightforward exercises.
Benefits of couples meditation
As said don’t believe us, try for yourself. Experience, however, tell us the following.
Being together is not so obvious anymore. We’re always busy always running around, mostly somewhat stressed and/or tired. Couple meditation is a simple and powerful way to be and relax together. An important part of couple meditation is learning to simply be together doing nothing. It’s an invitation to stop doing the regular things and start to pay attention to each other.
You can be together in very different ways. If you want to pick a fight, please do. Couples meditation for beginners isn’t like that. It’s more bodily, lovingly. Couples meditation is far more relaxed but nicely energetic. It’s a way to boost up your energy by letting your body talk again. Couples meditation is a good way to energize, vitalize your relationship.
You will deepen intimacy because you will discover more areas of intimacy then talking (mental connection) alone. Talking is a beautiful way to experience mental alignment, but body talk is something different. It could also be that these simple meditations open both your hearts and bring you into a deep love feeling, a deep loving connection. And who knows maybe also your souls speak out and connect.
Bliss – natural high!
Meditation does influence your well-being. Couples meditation can give you a natural high because it can create a neurochemical change in the brain, allowing couples the experience of ecstasy and bliss together.
5 Couples meditation for beginners you can try!
Below we present you 5 couples meditation for beginners. You can do them one at a time or do them in a sequence. You can have a half hour of fun or the whole night. That’s up to you.
Read the article on Tantra basics if you want as preparation. Key is that you make a nice space to be in together. We call this making a tantric temple. Make sure that you cannot be disturbed – phones off. Start the session with a Namasté. It means: “I see the divine in you”. With this gesture, you honor your partner and set the tone.
Couples meditation 1: Synchronized Breathing (10-15 minutes)
For this meditation, you can sit however you want as long as you sit close together and face to face. Don’t touch, try not to move. Look each other in the (left) eye. Also, keep your eyes open and pupils still. While gazing start to watch your breath. Watch how you breathe in and breath out. Then after a minute or so try to synchronize your breath with the breathing of your partner. Don’t force anything, just let happen what wants to happen. Be as present as you can be. If your mind wanders off, just return to the synchronize breathing and the eye-gazing. Relax, smile and enjoy. Sit as long together as you want. It’s not a challenge but you (your mind and body) have to get used to it a little bit. Give it some time.
So the basic steps are:
- Sit comfortably face to face.
- Look each other in the (left) eye.
- Start watching your breathing.
- Try to synchronize your breathing with your partner’s.
- Just let happen what wants to happen. Be aware of it.
- Relax, smile and enjoy.
Couples meditation 2: Do a 5-minute Check-in (2×5 minutes)
Tantra is all about conscious and loving living. This you do in the moment! So if you walk around with all kind of mental ballast, hard stuff from the day, that doesn’t help. A great way to unwind your day – to take responsibility for your thoughts and emotions & still your mind – is to do a 5-minute check-in. Just take turns. Let for instance your partner start talking and you start listening. Invite him/her to tell about what is on his/her mind. Could be anything. Issues from work, body sensations or an emotional state, something concerning your relationship. Anything! The 5-minute check-in is about unwinding and fearless talking – attentive listening.
- Make it yourselves comfortable. Decide who will begin.
- Start talking – start listening. Only ask for clarification if really needed.
- Switch roles.
- Thank each other. If you want, use meditation 3.
Couples meditation 3: Go for a Melting Hug
We all know what a hug is. Most of us don’t hug however the tantric way. A melting hug is a hug from the heart with the whole body. Every cell of your body is participating. So a real body to body hug. It’s also with full presence, full awareness. It’s a hug that is allowed to last. Normally we hug only seconds, a melting hug lasts minutes.
Just relax, stand centered on your own feet and connect with your partner. Relax and make the front of your body soft and open. You can visualize that two bodies merge together. On your out-breath, you sink (your energy sinks) into the body of your partner. On your in-breath, you let your partners energy into yours. Take your time, don’t force anything. Relax, smile and enjoy.
And be creative. If standing up is too arduous, just lay down in the spooning position. You can do this hug front to front but also front to back. So when coming home you can hug him/her also in the kitchen while cooking. It’s all about your energetic presence and the loving intention to connect and fuse.
Things you should remember:
- Hug with your whole body.
- Always keep your own balance, center on your own feet.
- Relax and make your body soft and open.
- Melt together: on your out-breath, you penetrate your partner with your presence.
- Melt together: on your in-breath your embrace your partner with your love.
- Take your time (2-3 minutes at least).
- Relax, smile and enjoy.
Couples meditation 4: Enjoy the Scissors position
If you did the first three couples meditations then you are ready for this one. If you start fresh, make sure that your body is warm and a bit energized. Do some shaking or pelvic moves beforehand. Then follow the next steps:
- Stand opposite each other and take time to connect (through eye contact).
- Do a step forward and place your left hand on the sex of your partner, place your right hand on your heart.
- Put all your awareness on your sex and your sexual energy. Breath low, breath in and out through you sex. Move your energy down/forward on your out-breath. Move your energy in and up on your in-breath.
- Relax, smile and enjoy. Play a little with your hands. You may arouse your partner a little bit. Keep on breathing through your sex.
- Now lay down in scissor position. Make sure that your both sex are touching each other.
- Put all your awareness on your sex and your sexual energy again. Breath low.
- Relax, smile and enjoy. Play a little with your pelvic floor. Feel your partner, feel the warmth, make some fire. Use your breath to move sexual energy.
- Stop doing anything. Just feel your partner, feel your own energy. Feel the warmth, feel the liveliness. Relax, smile and enjoy.
Couples meditation 5: Merge while sitting in Shiva/Shakti position
At the end of couples meditation 4, you can move from the scissor position to the Shiva/Shakti position and restore alignment. If you start fresh synchronize first. Relax, watch your breathing and align with your partner.
Make some fire
If you’re kind of cold definitely make some fire. It doesn’t matter for your body where your arousal is coming from. You can use your hands, move your pelvic floor, use your imagination, have a long passionate kiss. Make some fire and then…
Just sit together. Feel what is happening in your (lower)body. Also, feel your partner. Feel the warmth that is spreading through your bodies. Let your bodies do the talking. Let your energies connect and play with each other. Learn to relax, smile and enjoy. Being together is enough, there’s nothing that has to be done. If movement or whatever start to happen. Let it happen. Be as present as you can be. If your mind wanders off, just return to the synchronize breathing and feel your and the body of your partner. Relax, smile and enjoy. Sit as long together as you want. If it’s too stressful or painful for your body lay down.
Always thank each other
Whether you did one or all meditations, don’t forget to thank each other before you separate and go your own way. Your partner is the most beautiful person in the whole world. In fact, if you can see the divine in your partner you will be overwhelmed with gratitude. There are tantric ways to thank each other but for now, use your own way.
See the godliness in each other
Back to the key article on Tantric relationships
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